Saturday, January 12, 2008

haiku revised...

i was introduced to haiku a while ago... and it captivated me immediately... here is a brief description of what haiku is...

Haiku is a poetic form and a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language in a meaningful, yet compact form. Haiku poets, which you will soon be, write about everyday things. Many themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually they use simple words and grammar. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables.

Haiku doesn't rhyme.

A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in ONLY 17 syllables over just three (3) lines of poetry!

ok so i didn't follow the exact recipe... although that is quite a challenge and i enjoy it tremendously... the style i will follow (after a glass of red wine) opens with a hokku, which later developed into haiku a kind of a collaborative format... although i may be wrong... try it yourself why don't you... i have written very erotic haiku's and some beautiful everyday things ... this is sort of border line~

here goes ...

5 your eyes saw mine first
7 your smile reached out for my smile
5 our fingers touching

7 discovering each other
7 this one day we have for now

5 far away yet near
7 unsure if i want to know
5 not sure of your heart

7 i feel your skin and know you
7 i feel your heart beat fast, loud

5 slowly i touch you
7 your lips on mine for a while
5 probing what is mine

7 offering myself to you
7 i take you without asking

5 surrender to you
7 i give myself to you now
5 my mind forgotten

7 that moment, that instant there
7 gasping to make sense of us

5 you made me smile yes
7 a perfect moment in time
5 mine forever now

13 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Michelle Hix said...

Very good! Very descriptive! Draws the reader in and makes me leave my boring reality for a moment...

Faerie said...

Houston? You are in Houston now? Well hell stop on over... Im only 3 hrs away.

Love the Haiku. Very poignant.

The Divine Miss M said...

Aw I love it :) You paint the poem very well ... write us more!

sweetass RSA said...

mich: thanks! boring reality... ouch... write a saucy haiku and feel better :)

faerie: LOL... :)~

miss m: i think i'm going to do a haiku every friday... how's that!

angel said...

oh its beautiful sweetass!!! another talent revealed- how come you never mentioned it, eh?!

sweetass RSA said...

angel... i dunno... thanks for the compliment!

Bridget said...

I.M.P [er].E.S.S.I.V.E! (prounounced in same manner as irritating Umbrella song.)

I love it!

Another poet! Huzzah!

Nosjunkie said...

Thats absolutly great.
I think its a writing style that is too short for my chattering mind but Ill try and see what I can come up with

Elise said...

I like it!

"offering myself to you
I take you without asking"

I never knew you were a poet!


Sheena Gates said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Turning into a hippie are you?

kyknoord said...

My favorite:

Haiku is easy
But doesn't always make sense

sweetass RSA said...

bridge... thanks doll face!

lee: i hope you share what you write! can't wait!!!

elise: i'm not... really... this is all new to me, but i'm lovin it babe!

sheena: hippie-hippie-shake... didn't you know??!!!

kyk... wow dude that's so like wanna share like some weed or what? LOL

Gunfighter said...

South African friend
New to the world of haiku
Soon to be drawn in

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