Tuesday, January 15, 2008

disaster management...



i find myself quite unsatisfied with myself at the moment.. after the holiday i'm ignoring my mirror... i'm actually contemplating throwing a piece of material over it... like some cultures do when someone dies ~ that's how i feel... my sweet ass is on the verge of dying a gruesome dimply over sized death.... urghhhhhh... apparently (however someone is probably lying about this)... i have a fast metabolism, yipiee kayee mf's... that piece of info has brought me no salvation whatsoever... so extreme measures will have to be taken... diets don't work for me... either i have no discipline or i'm just following the wrong diet... so my plan of action will be between the following...

i need to fall in love or have my heart broken... those two always works like a charm... i lose all and utter need to eat when i'm in love... i have a tummy full of butterflies that feeds me drops of love juice 24~7... the other option... a broken heart... this option is suffice to say not so nice... but effective non the less... with both my divorces i was so utterly shattered i literally didn't eat for 3 months... i shit you not... did wonders for my bod but my health... sheesh... not such a good idea...

i just don't understand why woman were created so different... thin girls just live on lettuce with the odd lettuce eating worm to provide a little protein... and who wants to live like that i ask you!!!... i only know one skinny girl... the others are all normal people.. .the skinny one.. she's anorexic... so i rest my case... i probably need to up my exercise... but with the heat and the gym's inability to turn their air con on – i'm slightly fucked... so basically i need to fall in love... a tall order i know... few men have the power to do that to me... unfortunately!!! that is... only 4 men i've known had it – so statistically i'll have to wait another 3 years... which is just bloomin great... sigh

21 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Lopz said...

Aaaah, the shedding of pounds through romance... my mother used to call that living on love and fresh air! Unfortunately, it never worked for me. I stop eating only when I am in great distress, like with my current passport disaster. It's great for the figure, like you say, but I'd rather be fat and happy!

Mr Right must be out there somewhere babe, I hope you find him someday.

Southern Sage said...

I decided long ago id rather be fat than hungry. Hey I'm fat so what?
I have to take issue with your ass-es-ment of your ass-et. Though I have only seen 2 pics of it it looks ummmmmmmm deliciously sweet from here! See if you were to post/send several dozen pics then we could track the progression or regression of your ass-et.
no? didn't think so but begging sometimes works!
SS

sweetass RSA said...

lopz... luckily i'm in no hurry but it would be quite handy right about now... jip great distress... very well put... i know all about that!

sage: thanks for your kind comments on my ass~et!

kyknoord said...

Weight loss through emotional overload? That's a new angle. You could write a book and then hire a personal trainer with the royalties.

angel said...

hhmmm... emotional highs and lows make me eat more!!!
as you know i had surgery that helped me start losing weight finally... and i'm a total drive-thru junkie... other than the op which isn't necessarily an option for everyone (LOL), i reckon serve yourself what you normally would but force yourself to eat only half!
makes for a lot of leftovers though...

Faerie said...

Okay so I have come to the conclusion you are just having too much fun in Houston, so Ill just drive over... not like Im busy or anything.

as for your ass... ummm after 37 or so, my health was chosen over the demon speed. Man, doing speed was so easy too! ~sigh~ but sooo illegal and unhealthy! Fucking rules! Guess Im with SS here... gonna be fat.

sweetass RSA said...

kyk: that's an option yes but i would rather just fall in love and get it over with :)

angel: tjomma i know all this... i do... but it seems my ass now has a life of her own... LOL

faerie... come on over girlfriend! glad to hear you're done with speed! you just gonna be fat?... no ways i refuse!!

Bridget said...

Or you could settle for the good ol' "I'll learn to live with it" line I always use. It works wonders!

Ruby said...

sweetass! i'm sure it's not even a little bit as bad as you make it out to be. Also, i think the whole act of coming back into your routine will also help for you ass*et to return to normal.

MsMozi said...

How about just a little infatuation instead of full-blown love - won't that work too? As long as it's someone that you bump into all the time, forcing permanent 'butterfly in the stomach' effect.

Szarek(Will) said...

look on the bright side...at least now you can eat all the junkfood you want

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Falling in love and having one’s heart broken are on opposite ends of the happiness scale. But I know what you mean: I seem to function much better—even drop a lot of weight—when I’m in either situation.

Nosjunkie said...

I am terribly disguntled. I have been in the gym like a demon every day working my but off and yet when I get on the scale it tells me that I am 2 kg hevier

Ruby said...

muscles weigh more than fat!

hayley-emsley said...

hi hun! Just came across your blog for the first time and i think it is great! Will deffo be adding you to mine!!

Hayley x

Elise said...

Heartache does do wonders for weight loss...

Love on the other hand makes me fatter... The late night drinking and dinners and dessert...

Don't worry about your sweet ass. I'm sure its as cute as ever! xx

Sheena Gates said...

Stress works too! I've lost 10kg since the Andrew dying / retrenchment week without even trying.

Also, I need to get used to my blog reading new schedule - I keep missing everyones posts!

sweetass RSA said...

bridge... i refuse... i really do... ;(

ruby... that's true... maybe there is hope yet for my ass*ets XXX

mozi: yes! i forgot about that one... oh boy i love infatuations... njam njam!

will...noooooooooooooooo!

nick... i didn't know guys also got this ... hmmm... affliction... ;-)

lee: what ruby said is true... don't weigh yourself doll!

hayley: welcome!!! fanks... see ya soon!

elise: fat and happy... like it should be! i dunno eh... sheesh... but thanks!

sheena~bean: no worries, i'm posting at different times now anyway... i know... stress... although you can't compare what you've been through to divorce... it is similar in some ways... i lost 15 kg with my last divorce... hectic

Natalie said...

Sweetass, we all put on a little weight after Crimbo, you will be back in shape in no time!

Natalie said...

Sweetass, we all put on a little weight after Crimbo, you will be back in shape in no time!

Sheena Gates said...

nats what the fuck is a crimbo?

 
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