how rude i know...

don't worry i'm pissed off at myself too...make a big hoohaa about being back and then all of a sudden i'm off the radar again....thing is... or was...my pc broke...batman offered to have it fixed... dodgy right?... and there i made my first mistake....well at least it's working now... hmmm... well halfway anyway... it's reaaaaaaaaaaaaaly slow... dodgy right???!!!!... blue screen of death of the graphics card... i still can't figure out what was wrong... maybe it was the card... cause it's lying on my kitchen counter....yeah lovely.... cause i have sooooooooooooooo much money lying around to buy another one... thing is... what's the point in offering to have the forkin pc fixed and then all you "have done" is to take out the broken parts and flippen well not replace it!!!.... dodgy!!!!!.... so i'll do my best to be back as soon as possible... but hell i'm not promising anything anymore... so toodles for a week or so... thanks for all your comments... you rock... but hey you knew that already... :)

ps; no picture today... poor pc is totally confused when i tell it to add a picture.... dodgy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

groovy baby

the amount of posts i've written in my head the last few months is just insane... and here i am... after the millionth post... and i've just deleted like 3 posts... hmmm... i've lost my fucking groove haven't i???!!!! ... was NOT expecting that... so yeah... baby steps it'll have to be...

so as my first baby step lemme tell you about the total dish of a dentist i met on friday... just a pity i met him after i threw a total fit in the waiting room... i broke my tooth... right off... so about two weeks ago and R800 buckeroos later i had a new semi permanent little chomper until i could get a dreaded root canal and a new crown made... and friday morning i was chewing away on a piece of gum... and POP... off the semi jumps, i almost swallowed it... friday afternoon i went back to glue the fucker back right... then they produce the pre invoice you have to sign to basically ok all the thousands they are about to bill you for... so i had a back and forth with the receptionist about not paying one cent more... the whole office was involved.... loud voices and such... and i won... oh yeah oh yeah... but the dishy dentist was not impressed, all sexy and smouldering behind his little mask... hehe... i just know when to pick my battles don't I... soooo glad he didn't have to inject me cause i think he wanted to...erm... hurt me reaaaaaaaaal bad...

hell yeah :)

oh



my



greatness!



is it odd that the excitement of this moment is almost as good as...as....ag i dunno... it's just so sooooooooooo good!!!



hello all of you crazy wonderful people!!! good heavens i've missed this shit :)

it is quite indecent, ok maybe indecent is the wrong choice of words, but i cannot completely explain to you how i have missed this crazy thing called blogging... and all the bloggers... man alive...



it all depends on how much airtime my new cellphone bestows on me, that's how much i'll blog and that's how much i'll read...



ok some news:



i'm good

still love the new job

my kids are still the cutest and wildest miniatures on the planet

and no, still no mantoy


ah man i have so much to tell you and this is all i come up with???



anyhoodle.... talk soon...!!!!



*jumping up and down from excitement*

whazzup yo?!

goodness gracious me... get me some booze... this is not easy is it?

I'm not really back, i just miss so you damn much!!!

lemme just explain, i have no Internet access anymore, well barely, currently I'm stealing some from my sister... who incidentally offered me access whenever i need it, which is kind of cool... but... there's always a but right... half of the blogging experience is reading your bloggies man... so I'll can blog, no problem... but i can't read any of yours... so tell me, being the spastic techno retard that i am... can i follow your blogs via rss feed or something via my email? if so... ga... we might be in business!

ok so lemme know, seriously...

I'm still on leave, will start the new job on Monday, can't wait!
but on the other hand i could really get used to staying at home, fetching the kids from school... strangely comforting to be around them so much... anyhoodle...damn i have so much to tell you guys it's impossible to even remember one thing... dang... I've been dangerously social this past two weeks, had a lovely bloggirls get together on Saturday and the highlight of the two weeks...

i bought myself two absolutely dreamy dresses yesterday... at a Chinese shop nogal... i know, go figure... but I'm a girl after all and dresses, they make me happy :) the owner of the shop is so funny... all she can say in english is "yes... yes!"... so i used her for some positive reinforcement comments while trying on the dresses... "don't i look great??"... her reply...

yes... yes!!!

tell me my dear Chinese woman, would it not have been a good idea to learn some splanglish or some changlish before stowing away on the first best container heading for our shores?

yes... yes!!

i know... so how long have you been here? your shop has been around for at least two years, and you still don't bother to learn the language, what's up with that? you just wiping your ass on us or what?

yes... yes!!!

*sigh* i give up...

***

ja i know I'm pathetic, i was really determined with the "end" but am really
really
fucking really
missing this shit...

so... I'll ma see... lemme know about the rss thingymabob, maybe i should corner angel and let her enlighten me... oops that just sounded wrong right?

ok... until next time, whenever that might be :)

post number 324

i honestly can't believe i've written 324 posts... BUT the biggest surprise is that you actually read my posts... if i haven't met angel, glugs, sheebs, tamara, jackson, jane, philly and mzmozi in real life, i prolly would have thought you all were a figment of my overactive imagination... :)~


i've been stewing with this for a while and because i'm a very black and white kind of girl... i've done it... i've made my decision... about 3 minutes ago... i'm indefinitely going to stop blogging... *sniff*... it's just how it is right now, and it's all or nothing for me... things have changed so much in my life, it's all good and i have to move on for now... i don't have the time, i won't have access at work to blog so, the decision was actually quite painless and easy... i tried reading a few blogs every day but that's driving my crazy... i HAVE to read all the blogs on my blogroll every day, yes, i know, i'm a bit of an overkill :)


i won't be deleting my blog
maybe i'll take it up again, whenever...
i'll still read your blogs, that i promise
this is sad yes?
for me anyway...it's been an awesome ride, and i've met some really incredible people that in some strange way have changed my world ...


so auf wederzein all of you beautiful people...
miss me ok?
cause i sure as shit will miss doing this and doing you... erm i mean reading your blogs :)


peace out...

are you offended yet?

i have this teeny tiny pet peeve... and i know some of the blogs i read do exactly what i hate... so just tell me why, then maybe I'll get it...

some of you have your comments saved for the blog owner's approval... this is something i just

do

not

get

there is something to be said about being spontaneous dear fellow bloggers... don't be a scary cat... let the comments flow man... i promise you nobody is going to tell you that you are in fact the worst blogger in the world... sometimes there is a great rhythm going in the comments... and it doesn't even have anything to do with the blogger... it's like a mini chat room... and it's fun... so why are you spoiling my fun hey???? so strange... so tell me, why do you do it?

why?

why?

huh?

why??

and please those of you who do this... don't take offence ok... i'm just asking... like me, there are loads of great bloggers out there, that don't leave hateful, disgusting comments on a daily basis...

if you want a big girl panty just ask me to send you one...

it's...

erm...

quite liberating :)~

ps: it's not that i'm not reading any blogs, i am trying so damn hard to, you have absolutely no clue...but my connection speed is just enough to drive me batty... so apologies all around...

unemployment...

so you thought you got rid of me that easily?

ha...

think again :)

I'm at home, and blogging baby... not going anywhere!

very odd to be sitting here blogging... i should be at work... instead I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee and a cigarette... ah lovely... is this what all SAHM and daddyos do? i guess not... nobody to talk to... just the dishes and the unmade beds calling my name... I'm meeting a friend in an hour for a movie... yes a movie in the middle of the day...i can get used to this... for sure :)

so I'll be blogging at night from now on... no more internet freedom at work and I'll actually be working my sweet little ass into the ground... things change so fast yes? it does...

thanks for all your kind words, i dusted my shoes off when i left work on friday... and i didn't even shed a tear... i wasn't expecting to feel so numb about it all... guess a lot more baggage left than i expected...

have you noticed i haven't got anything to say today...

i don't...

clean slate? or maybe i just haven't woken up yet... my hair is standing in twelve different directions... and i'm lazy... hope to be back to my old self soon, this transition shit is not what it's cracked up to be...

anyhoodle... big girl panties signing off

(btw you guys are really digging my new big girl panty look... i could tell)

see ya

it's my last day!


it's my last day!


it's my last day?





scary shit if you ask me...


yet incredibly exciting...


i'm letting go of my blankie...


putting my big girl panties on...

and i can't wait :)

have a great weekend!!!!

i have a dream

i unfrickinfortunately don't dream much... i love to dream but for some bizarre unfair reason i think i sleep too deep or something... anyhoodle... now and again i dream real big... but unlike other normal people my mind stays in this dream-state but my eyes are open... and everything i dream, i see... then... after a few minutes... some part of my rational brain does kick in... so there i am part dreaming and part awake... indeed a very scary place to be... i usually have the same dream... a guy standing at the window, opening the curtain with a gloved hand... jikes... then i "wake up"... and i see him... i know I'm awake... and i know he's not real... he's all in my head... but damn at that moment... he's just standing there looking at me holding that damn curtain... awful... but... unless the gloved man has a ladder my window is thank goodness off limits to him now...

***

so... my brain concocted a new dream... sigh... i wake up last night half past 1... and there is a mouse on my bookcase... i shit you not... i see it... i put the light on... i see it again... i run to wake up my kids to come help catch the mouse... i get the broom... run back to the kids room and start yanking and pleading them to come help me... i rush back to my room....

***

--> jump on the bed...

***

-->broom above my head...

***

--->ready to whack the living daylights out of mr. mouse...

***

-->and it dawns on me...

***

...there is no mouse...

crayola love

i once had a discussion with a good friend of mine, she's got 3 kids... holy terrors... so we were talking about our kids (as mommies do) and suddenly she asked me " so which one of your kids is your favourite?" ...

dear Lord i almost chocked on my lemon cream biscuit! a favourite?! does she have a favourite kid? i don't! and i proceeded to defend this point of view until all the cookies were finished... but all jokes aside... kids are different... their personalities, their temperaments... all that stuff does make you probably get on better with one child ... but do i love one of my boys any less? no way!... i would gladly jump in front of a train to save any one of them... without a second thought... but in real life sure i do get along with one kid better than the other one, during some stages of their lives... at the moment for instance i just have the desire to slap Kay every single time i see him... why? cause he's 13... need i say more? but do i love him? oh yes... he's my baby and will always be, and in a few years time i will probably get along better with him than with Jay... but do I love Jay more because we get along better now? no! is he my favourite? hell no!

this second part will make sense at the end of the post... so bear with me :

i was doing a project for Kay the other day on Tsunami's... yes i do his projects, just zip it... i have my reasons... one being that i just love doing them... and secondly i just get better marks than him... i know i know...sigh... anyway... so i was doing some research on the web on everything to do with tsunamis and it made me think back to when in December 2004 that horrific tsunami hit Indonesia... worldwide 225000 people died because of that tsunami... shocking... there was a SA woman who, with her family was there on holiday... she did a interview when she came back home... and to this day i just cannot forget her story...

she was with her two kids, single digit kids... probably could swim by themselves, but with a tsunami obviously they didn't stand a chance of survival... so she was with them when the tsunami struck... and she grabbed both, as any mother should... she was fighting to keep herself and her two kids alive... paddling with nothing to hold on to... and then... after keeping the 3 of them above water... all her energy was exhausted... and she decided that she had to let one of the kids go if she wanted to save herself and one of the kids... so now... which one do you let go of?...

i cried for days about that story... not because of the decision she had to make, but the fact that she actually chose one above the other... that she thought that letting go of her child was even an option... to me that is just unimaginable... personally i would rather drown with my two kids, holding on for dear life rather than to let go of one of them...

thankfully the child she let go of survived too... but imagine the fear of that child... he must have held on for dear life... and his mother probably pried his hands off of her...

she told this story to the reporter... another shocker... i am still shocked by her decision to choose in the first place, and then secondly she told the world she did this... certainly this child will be told of this too... sigh... i don't know... it just broke my heart... cause it's just not right... how could she?

so that's how i see my crayola love... it's all or nothing...I'm not letting go of one of my little crayons... ever...