Thursday, August 30, 2007

plastic surgery

one of the blogs i visit every day is http://www.tertia.org/ ... T had her boobs done recently and i am just plain jealous...

horribly and terribly so....

i can’t afford plastic surgery but i dream about it… you see i’ve got really big knockers...very unpleasant but yet quite attractive at times i know i know! i should count my blessings....i have a cleavage that will make most men's eyes tear up....but these two blessings of mine i can just about tie around my neck too ...what's the fun in that??... i call them dee dee...dds cup, get it?...every woman's dream who doesn't have their own enormous set ...i feel like a dove most of the time... you know when doves push out their chests and they swell to under their chins...ahem...that's me....
when i had my second son, i was still in hospital and i was trying to breastfeed, contrary to popular belief, the smaller your breasts are the easier you breastfeed.... so there i sat on the hospital bed with this tiny baby boy, the nurse was helping me...and i suddenly realised that the baby's head was actually smaller that my freaking boob...hilarious i know...the nurse had quite a good giggle...
36dd...although this might be the dream of every other girl with a small cup, trust me girls it's really not at all what's it cracked up to be... men love it sure but what's new right... now i've done this highly embarrassing experiment... i lift my boobs way up... i know phew....you won’t believe what happens....my fat rolls around my mid-riff disappear totally!!! is that even possible?... so my extremely heavy bosoms are pushing down everything and they appear to be fat when they in fact are not...oh yeah oh yea...should i be glad or should i be sad, if i ever have enough moola for a breast reduction, it's good news right...but what's the chance that i ever will have enough, have to stay positive... it just ain't fair.....now you know why i blog anonymously...none of my friends or my family know that i am blogging...'tis is why darling, 'tis is why....

i’ve always wanted a flat stomach but ever since i had kids my tummy and i have given up on that dream and of course the road map of stretchmarks goes to places you never knew they could…but forget about my tummy i'm talking about my titties today... problem is that i like to run, very much so, but i have to wear at least two pairs of bra jobbies when i attempt to run... it. is. horrible..... and the one bra job is a wonderful item, it's called a shock absorber...snicker...only thing is the manufacturers only thought small breasted woman run so i find them everywhere in the shops but the sizes are.... 32a...i think i skipped that size....34b....they just about cover my nipples....and then joy oh joy 36a...and 36b.... but there the road to juggling free jogging stops... i bought my pair of shock absorbers about ten years ago... and they still work... but i think a brand new pair would do wonders!!!

it could have been worse i guess... but if i could have boobs the size of the girl in the picture i would be running around nikked showing everybody my boobs...

2 COMMENTS....bite me!:

angel said...

holy! effing! crap!
i do not bloody believe it!
i'm a 40dd (which means you're skinnier than me you cow)!!!
i do not run because i am afraid of knocking myself out- and i have NEVER been able to find a sportsbra! i love horseriding- but i have to trot with one hand on the reins and the other trying to stop my boobs escaping my bra! when i do run it looks like there are a coupla puppies playing under my shirt!
mwaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaa
something i giggle at often is imagining myself in a wonderbra- i don't think i'd be able to see over my boobs if they made a wonderbra in my size!!!
i do like my boobs though- i show off my cleavage every chance i get!

Kitty Cat said...

Amazing, I'm one of those tiny boobed women, who wear the 32a shock absorber when running...and I am actually glad they're small when I exercise, but when I go out I wish they were bigger to fill out the top...never happy...great post.

 
Template by suckmylolly.com