Tuesday, July 1, 2008

the beast



oh my greatness... i have the mother of all PMS at the moment... I'm like a growling beast ready to decapitate anything that looks my way.... sigh...


so i thought i would entertain you today with yet another one of my most embarrassing moments... if you have time... hop over to slyde's blog... post of 06/26/08... his ten most embarrassing moments... good heavens people i peed a little in my panties... it's really funny... so slyde made me think... other than my "how are your neck" episode and my HIV disaster story, and of course my lesbian moment... this also makes me blush just thinking about it... luckily my embarrassing moments aren't so public (yet, touch wood ~ hug a tree) but this one... oh man...


i was pregnant with Jay... nearing the 40 week mark... huge as a elephant... i visited a friend of mine, waddled over the couch... one of those really comfy ones, that you struggle to get out of... now when you're pregnant, in my case anyway, hormones are not scarce... i ooze hormones when I'm pregnant... that said please note that i am clean... i bath twice a day... ok?! ... so there i sat... relaxing... chatting... laughing... and the next thing i see her dog in the doorway... his tail pointed up in the air... his ears at attention... his eyes about to pop out of his head... he smelled the hormone source~!...


oh my goodness... it was like a scene out of a cartoon... he couldn't move fast enough and yet everything seemed to move in slow motion... needless to say he made a beeline for me... or rather my crotch... and stuck his damn snout in between my legs and just couldn't be moved... so there i sat... huge... with a damn dog stuck between my legs! my friend was paralyzed with laughter... so needless to say she didn't do a damn thing to get the dog off me... and as much as i pulled... he pushed... good grief... it was horrible... horrible... so if i see a dog now i cross my legs just in case :)


so there... if you see a pregnant woman and you own a dog... keep them apart for Pete's sake!

8 COMMENTS....bite me!:

sleepyjane said...

OMG that is so funny! Sorry but it is! Although I have to sympathize too! :)

The Jackson Files said...

Good grief, what an image! My dad has a crotch sniffing dog, SO annoying.

sweets said...

jane: it was horrible... ok i'm blushing again...

jacks: i know... just awful LOL

sleepyjane said...

I just had to come back and comment on your other posts you linked to.

I'm still laughing.


The 'how are your neck' one is a gem - especially since I'm also Afrikaans so I totally get it. HAHAH!

The woman I work with once spoke to a client and instead of asking what his first name was she asked: 'Sir, what is your front name?' we both packed up laughing at that one.

angel said...

oh nooooooo sweets!!!

giggle

thats really snigger dreadful...

i am pms'ing too, i should stay home on days like today!

Southern Sage said...

well then
I guess your fave position is doggie style?

kyknoord said...

This is why a stun-gun is the perfect baby-shower gift.

Asylum Escapee said...

Ahh thats hilarious, we all get this image in our heads and people probably think I'm going crazy plus my body is sore so it doesn't help to laugh. Thanks to you i finally understand why ladies say "All men are dogs" lol

 
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