Thursday, April 17, 2008

open wide

my dentist is such a sweety... he is so scared he'll hurt me... which he does on a regular basis...


yesterday was my second visit to his chair in two weeks, and i've got another appointment next week... just forking fantastic... all of a sudden the muti he's injecting me with is not working... when my eyes start going as big as saucers... he does the "hands up" cops and robbers routine and gently asks...

am i hurting you?

hell yes doc... just slightly you know... please wipe off my tears running down my cheeks why don't you?

ok sweets let's call it a day, come back next week and then we'll try again!

he injected me twice yesterday... the cheek was numb but my teeth felt every single poke and drill... and... the cheek took up a life of it's own... i was making fAnny fart noises when i tried to talk... imagine me asking the receptionist for another appointment...

receptionist: yes ms sweets how can i help you?

me: i fnnweed afother aphhhointment please... fffffffirty minutes

receptionist: another appointment??

me: yefff the infechtions aren't wwforking... shwo doc shways i schewould chshould chwome bwhack aghain...

**receptionist frowning incredulously trying to figure out what the hell i just said... while trying to dodge the spittle i'm involuntarily projecting her way**

receptionist: ah don't worry sweets, just call me tomorrow ok...*giggling*

me: har har vwhery fffffunny...


20 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Ruby said...

awe shame hun!!!

I'm scared sheitless of those evil people...if you can call them human! And i broke a tooth, so i have to go as soon as i can get an appointment...*cowering away*

Tamara said...

Have you noticed how they wait till they've got six instruments or a whole hand inside your mouth before they ask you a question?

sweets said...

ruby: good luck rubes... i think i should drink something to calm myself before i go again!!!!!

tamara: i know! my previous dentist would tell me the funniest jokes while i had my mouth wide open... he was just cruel ;)

Tamara said...

You have to be a little a) cruel or b) odd to want to be a dentist and deal with people's bad breath and funky teeth all day long!

Blue Sunflower said...

Ouch..

Just thinking about the dentist gives me the shivers....

BecauseIcan said...

hahahahahaaha

LMFAO!

You have hammered the nail on his head sweets!

Bugger it if they arent a bunch of sadists collecting stories for their annual barn dance/reunion..

Tamara said...

HAHAHAHA! You are FUNNY! A dentists barn dance - that should be made into a Gary Larsen cartoon!

Southern Sage said...

haaaaaaaaaaaa

in ur mouth twice in two weeks?
injected you?
twice??
damn should have been a dentist............

Lopz said...

Do you think dentists would treat you after you'd smoked a big fat spliff? Cos it's really the only way I can think of to be calm and relaxed while sitting in that chair. Then again, you might laugh so much you bite his fingers.

Mandy said...

I like your dentists mask...

sucks you'e going through all that, though. I hate going to the dentist!

btw I posted the story behind the burning tree on my blog!

ozymandiaz said...

peculiar is it not that dentists can understand you perfectly when you speak that way but the receptionists cannot. they should all go to cotton mouth training.

angel said...

i am also terrified of the dentist... when i had to have a crown a few years ago i was aching all over from trying to reverse away from her through the chair!

sweets said...

tam: i know! i think that's why they charge so much, i will never be able to be a dentist, just gross hehe

blue: run baby run!

bic: you are so funny... hehe barn dance mwhahahahahahahaha

sage: what can i say? i think he should pay me LOL :)

lopz: now THAT is a good idea... they should have a cigar box and offer you one like in the restaurants hehe :)

mandy: cool i'll check it out... still can't believe you guys don't see burning trees that often... only teasing :)

ozy: LOL cotton mouth training! ;) they must hose themselves when the patients walk out the door!!

angel: i do the same... i need a good massage after i'm done ;)

Louisa said...

Mwahahaha! Shame man...
I have to say, my dentist can understand me when I talk even when he has both hands stuck in my mouth at the time - it's quite a talent! If I didn't know what I was trying to say I wouldn't have understood the mumbling I made.

Why didn't you just write it down for her?

sweets said...

well i'll remember my notebook next time then :) i was really embaressed, it was awwwwwwwwful...

Bridget said...

I WAS THE FIRST TO LEAVE A COMMENT HERE!!!

WHat happened to it?

Arg.

I hate the Alien thingy!

I wanted tot tell you that I often have to grab my dentists bum and bury my face in his crotch.

sweets said...

wmmmmmmmmmahahahahahahahahaha bridget you just made my day, that's too funny mwhahahahahahahahaha

btw~ i thought you were punishing me by not leaving a comment... war on terror ya know... so glad to see you stil wove me ;)

Bridget said...

Never me lovely!

Never punish you.

You laugh, It's painful.

So I only see him when it's ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY or else his wife would have something to say about it.

Michelle Hix said...

Tell him he's doing it wrong. (I'm sure he's heard that one before)

jeff said...

I thought it was very funny, hilarious even. The name's Jeff btw, don't forget it.

 
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