Tuesday, April 1, 2008

april 1st

it's april fool's day... but unfortunately i have no prank up my sleeve... couldn't think of one thing to do... boring isn't it~!!!!!!????

anyway lemme tell you about a very amusing incident...

the kids told me that daddy has got a new girlfriend... ooh lala.... i said... yes kay said Daddy needs someone to look after him....... mwhahahahah no shit sherlock... anyway... about two weeks ago the ex phones me...

him: hello darling ex wife...

me: yeah yeah what do you want?

him: do you have a copy of our divorce papers handy?

me: our divorce papers? oh yes i do, i actually have it framed... i will cherish it always...

him: har har... seriously do you have a copy?

me: lemme look in my personal file... hmmmm... oh yes here it is filed under "happy days are here again" mwhahahahahah...

him: are you enjoying this?

me: oh my dear ex husband, is it necessary to ask the obvious??

him: so you do have a copy?

me: affirmative corporal

him: (small voice) please fax it through to the following number 011....... attention Paula...

me: (evil chuckle bubbling right out of my belly)... are you for real?

him: (silence)

me: mwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahaha

him: yes...

me: so this dolla wants to check if you're still married? oh my god... this is just too precious!!!

him: she checked on the home affairs website and according to their records we're still married, did you know this???!!! (highly upset)

me: as a matter of fact, i do... shocking but not to worry, this problem should soon be rectified after i change my surname back to my maiden name...

him: oh...

me: so are you serious? really? does she want proof that you're not married?

him: (and here he gives himself away on so many levels) well yes, when we last had a thing we were still married...

*sigh* isn't he just a peach??!! and poor Paula, new newby, good luck pops, you're going to need it, if you don't see the red lights flashing all around the place, just embrace what's coming your way ok? ok!

i'm so going to love this... the previous girlfriend was Pauli, and this one is Paula... so i'm just going to have to have a slip when I meet her:

him: ex wife... meet my new girlfriend Paula

me: hi Pauli, so nice to meet you!

him and her together: no it's Paula, not Pauli...

mel: so sorry, there's just so many girlfriends and names... maybe you should wear a name tag?

ahhhhh... so much fun to be had....

15 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Glugster said...

Sweet revenge! Aaaahhhh!

The Divine Miss M said...

Omigod you are pure evil, I fucking love it!

Does he like the letter P? Does your name start with a P?

I like the letter D, too many men in my life names have started with the letter D.

The Jackson Files said...

It's ALWAYS super-fun to fuck with the ex, isn't it?

And you do it so incredibly well!

Natalie said...

Maybe he will get a PAUL next? Weird!?!

Globus said...

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, eh! globus is now glad that out of principle he ignores all of his exes :-)

globus' favourite sesame street letters are f, u, c, and the number 7.

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Oh my God you are hysterical!! hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Oh, no! I forgot that yesterday was April Fools Day—my jokester father’s favorite day of the year.

angel said...

oh my goodness... does this signal trust issues for them already?

heh heh

Louisa said...

Hehehe...I vaguely remember a similar chat to my ex. Only he needed it to get married again.

Where does your ex pick up all these unlikely named women? I don't even think I've met any woman whose name begins with a P...

*goes to check*

sorry my bad - I know one Patricia and one Priscilla. Paula and Pauli?! Seriously?! :-|

M@ said...

Oh, relationships.....

M@ said...

This is actually an anniversary for me, too.

sweets said...

glug: i don't quite see it as revenge... it's more like... suffer baby suffer ;)

divine: no~ i'm no P***....

jacks: thank ya thank ya... it's so easy... he just walks right into it!

nat: we can only hope can't we?

globus: hey!!!!!!! globus has good philosophy.... ;))

blondie: no i'm actually divorced hey... hehe

nick: for some reason i never can think of anything to do on april fools day... i hate that, this could be the perfect day!

angel: i know... desperation is an awful thing

louisa: what are the chances?! seriously... ;)

matt: happy anniversary matt... me bad sorry... ok spill... what happened on this dreadful day??

oh maybe i should give you the following advise... someone once said this to me and i nearly slapped him... i was complaining about bad memories and he said... MAKE NEW MEMORIES!!!... awwwww.... isn't that just sickening? hehe

Bridget said...

How could I have missed this??!!!!


Mwahhhaaahaaahaahaaa


YOu are soooooooo evil.

I love you.

Shock and Awe
Shock and Awe

Baby!

AfroSLiQ Diva said...

Evil..........

you are in need of an exorcist.....

You is evil I tell ya!

Tamara said...

Or maybe she should wear a dog tag?

 
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