Thursday, October 4, 2007

blow jobs...

before i do my post i just want to clarify something...i like the fact that i can write about everything that is me...i'm a woman...a mother...a daughter and a friend...all of that makes me who i am...so if i choose to write about bj's then i'm not trying to shock anyone or whatever...i just wanted to write about it...ok?...ok!
yeah you read right…blow jobs…this is quite a no-no subject i presume but what the hell…i have told no one i know that i have a blog…precisely for this reason…i can write about anything and nobody will be shocked…i was thinking about blow jobs when i was lying in a warm tub of bubbles sipping on my g&t last night…that just sounds wrong…hmmm….let me rephrase…i was thinking that my skills…practiced and perfected…are going to waste…there~ i said it…i am the blow job queen and this is a very sad state of affairs…so if you are perv and want to jerk off while reading this…move along…so back to the bj’s…everybody says sex is like riding a bike…you just get back in the saddle and there you go…great in theory but unfortunately riding a bike and having sex is really just not the same thing…really…and having sex and having great sex are two different things too…having great sex comes with practice…lots and lots of that… and giving a mind boggling bj requires technique…and being the queen that I am…i fear that when I jump back in the saddle i would have reverted back to entry level sex…and that sucks…no pun intended…so anyway…that’s that…

guys don’t know that us girls do in fact converse extensively about sex…i think if anyone listened in to a recent conversation with my best friend…please take note we are both straight…they simply just would not have believed it…i have turned into my best friend’s sex counselor…whenever she has a problem we take the whole problem apart and discuss various hilarious ways of fixing the problem…to the extent that she one day called me and said that we have to stop discussing her sex life cause she actually thought of me when she was having sex…trying out one of my suggestions…haha…we’re still straight…i told her to stop thinking too much when she’s getting it and to concentrate on the job at hand…giggle …another friend was also having problems…major marital shit was more like it…and she is unfortunately one of those girls…she does not like sex…which sucks big time…i was really trying to help her and gently asked if she has considered oral sex…it’s quite handy if you’re not really in the mood (which she never is) and boy it’s all a guy apparently needs to afterwards fall into a deep sleep…she nearly had a hissy-fit at the mere suggestion that she should give her poor husband a blow job…i then felt quite the whore to have even suggested it…how unfair is that…her husband just loves her to bits and obviously he just can’t get enough of her…and what does she do…she cringes at the thought of sex…unfucking-believable…anyway…good luck to her…i did my best…so that’s my take on blow jobs and oral sex and great sex…i’m currently missing out big time…come to think of it…someone else is also missing out big time…sigh…so that wasn’t a total perverted post now was it!

8 COMMENTS....bite me!:

The Divine Miss M said...

My girlfriends and I have some of the worst conversations ever about sex, I think men would be scared if they were in the same room. The difference between men and woman is that men go I shagged a girl last night, his friend will say, was she hot? Yes.Good.

Girls disect everything, from his technique, to oral sex, to kissing, to how he was afterwards etc.

Got to love being a girl :)

Sweetass RSA said...

for sure! girl power!

Spear said...

Good post nothing rude nor vulgar. (of course I'm a guy, I would say that) My wife and I consider ourselves extremely lucky, for though neither of us are perfectly built, we are not self conscious concerning sex. On the subject of blow jobs and (my wife hates the word -) muff dives. (Fellatio and Cunnilingus sound so clinical on the other hand) I think it is the ultimate treat one can give each other. I don't understand certain men expecting it, but not willing to reciprocate.

Glugster said...

Yip, only fair that a man should return the favour in kind!

angel said...

hoooooo boy... you really hit a nerve for me here today sweetass!!!
i just LOVE sex- and right now i miss it terribly!!! i half hope it is like riding a bike 'coz i think i'll be heartbroken if i have to learn it all all over again!!!

PS i think if ever we could get some kind of a blowjob rating, i would SO beat you... no-one will ever take my crown!!!

Sweetass RSA said...

spear & glugster: good boys!

angel: darling i'm ever so sorry...that crown is so mine!!!...you can be my first princess ok? lol!!!

Fish said...

Dont brag, I'm sure there's a homosexual out there, that can do it better hehehe.

You get what you give. And some man and women, dont even deserve the basic part of sex.

Spear said...

sweetass & angel. will you be getting a panel of judges for your contest or is there a device or something which will give you a rating.

How is that for a job: Professional BJ-performer rater

(now I am really talking crap)

 
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