Wednesday, August 20, 2008

kielie my pienk!



I'm on the mailing list for one of the local online book distributors, once a week i get an email with all sorts of books on sale... usually it's books for kids, crafty stuff and jewelry on sale... well *goofy laugh*... not this week... above mentioned header "kielie-my-pienk" should have warned me... it translates to something like ... hmmm... tickle me silly... or directly to ~tickle me pink~... i know! i wasn't expecting that...! LOL... this week it's all about sex... and the short reviews/descriptions of the books well... amused me to no end... and it seems they have sex toys available too... who knew Kalahari.net was so kinky?!

The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure The First Complete, No-Nonsense Guide To Orally Pleasuring A Man - Frank, Fresh, Fun! Learn the basics about his pleasure spots and how they like to be touched, how to talk to your partner about fellatio, and how the male sexual cycle works...

excuse me.. the male sexual cycle???

The Little Book of Minge Topiary:This little book tells you everything you need to know about creating your own shaven haven but were too afraid to ask. So go on, wax to the max....


mwhhhhhhhhhhahahahah... shaven haven ?!?!! *oh oh i can't stop laughing*


The Low Down on Going Down: How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex It's nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to performing oral sex, most people fall somewhere between fumbling and clueless. But now, in The Lowdown on Going Down you'll find practical, easy-to-master techniques that will give you the confidence and skills you need to become an expert in the delicate art of cunnilingus...


well i have to admit i didn't know that cunnilingus was an actual word... well it is, a very descriptive word at that... i googled it of course and was shocked even further by the fact that wikipedia has quite a bit of information on the subject... why do i find this so odd??


i kept thinking that the people that wrote the reviews... they must have had a very very fun time doing that... laughing their silly pink behinds off no less...



well i won't be opening any of these emails again so eagerly for the whole office to take notice of... see that pic with the streamers? well i called over my colleague... and we pretty much looked exactly like that discussing the various toys for sale :) what can i say? we apparently amuse easily...



18 COMMENTS....bite me!:

kyknoord said...

I can just picture the scene:
"Oh yeah, that's good. Mmmmm..."
"Hold on, I just need to turn the page"

sweets said...

next line...

"eina!! paper cut!!"

:)~

Asylum^Escapee said...

With you on Cunnilingus, what type of word is that. Going to google it now.
Orally, it would be natural to assume that all people would prefer being the receiver but there are many people who prefer to give and not get.

Ruby said...

he he.....i'm sure you guys found it unbelievably amusing. Is it just me or do the people in that pic look like a cheap rip-off of the Harry potter Clan???

leez said...

Male Cycle? No such thing. Men are ready all the time.

I'm gonna google minge topiary

The Jackson Files said...

Bhwahahahahahahahaha. My sister has just asked me what I was laughing at.

Shaven haven has gone straight into my mind-dictionary.

BecauseIcan said...

hahahahaha -- shaven haven --- hahahahahaha

brilliant!

Tamara said...

"Shaven haven"?!?!?! Bet you the copy writer thinks that's the smartest thing since sliced bread!

sweets said...

asylum... never assume anything... :)~

ruby... they do! LOL

leez... you just restored my faith in mankind...

jacks... i know... mwhahahahahahahhaaa

bic... you crack me up bic :)

tam... or since... never mind :)~

angel said...

oh my friggin word sweets...
i had a mini-asthma attack i laughed so hard!!! i very nearly shot my coffee out of my nose all over my keyboard!!!
i cannot believe you didn't know "cunnilingus" was a real word!!!
i think i may be shopping on kalahari.net sometime soon...
:D

leez said...

So I Googled minge topiary and it takes me to amzon.com and under suggestions it reads: book bought together- Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight. So thats a decent excuse not to go to gym.

sweets said...

tjomma i can't help giggling at the thought of you laughing, you're contagious that way ;)~

leez...shag yourself thin? oh that's quite clever! where do i sign up? :)~

Arkwife said...

*naughty giggle* Gimme gimme...Kalahari may have just gained a new customer.

As long as I don't forget to "wax to the max"...bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Slyde said...

my male cycle usually lasts about 60 seconds..

ozymandiaz said...

Wait, I have a cycle?
I have a bycicle
I've had a motor cycle
I even had a monocylce one time
Never realized I had a sexual cycle
Oh, I know what the cycle is...
I was born, I got horney, and when I die I won't be horney any longer (I guess). That's a cycle, right?
As for cunnilinguistics, well, let me quote a line from the movie "Yellowbeard".
"I ain't never learned nothin from no book that ever taught me anything"
Dicks are easy. They are connected to men, and men are easy. The female flower on the other hand is as complex and wonderful as the woman of whom it is a part. It is not like I have been with a large number of women but I can tell you each one is differant. What brings each one pleasure is differant.
Want to know what a woman likes?
ASK HER. Communication is a very understated part of making love.
Most important though, if you want to make a woman cum, first make her luagh.

Greg said...

A helpful pneumonic for cunnilingus is to think of the phrase "cunt linguist" (they have glib tongues).

Or you can just remember that cunnilingus is a lot like fellatio, but on a much smaller scale.

BTW: it's only dirty if there's mud involved.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hmmmm… it appears that at least this message from the book seller has been, uh, of an educational nature.

BecauseIcan said...

"Dicks are easy. They are connected to men, and men are easy. The female flower on the other hand is as complex and wonderful as the woman of whom it is a part."

Well said Ozymandiaz!!!!

I couldn't have said this better ..

 
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