Thursday, May 22, 2008

vibrating alert



A while back i wrote a post about blow jobs, among other things i talked about a friend of mine who had, how can i put this without sounding condescending?... slight problems in the bedroom... well about 2 weeks ago I had lunch with her, after much giggling and wine I dared to ask how it's going in that department... oh boy~
her poor husband
is all i can say... she admitted he told her that he's made peace with the fact that she's cold and that she doesn't like sex...

i nearly chocked on my french fry...
am i the only one who sees big fat red warning lights flashing... Danger! Danger! So i decided to stop beating around the bush and whack the proverbial bush with a few direct questions...

my friend!!! why don't you like sex? Did something happen to you when you were a child, or with a old boyfriend or anything... just tell me what happened to make you feel like this about sex?

No, nothing has ever happened...i just don't like sex and i guess i just hate my own body and can't imagine my husband liking it...

... i was speechless for a few seconds...

this carries on for a bit admitting that she "helps" him out once a month when he becomes too irritable.... ok everybody together now...HER POOR HUSBAND!!! i didn't ask what the "helping out" was but she probably lay there making a shopping list in her head and he was actually helping himself... unreal... I can't see that this man is doing anything wrong, i know him and he is a nice normal joe who truly loves his wife, he apparently tells her all the time how beautiful she is and how much he wants her and such and so on... and STILL after 14 years of marriage... nothing! Why they are still married i have no clue, he deserves a gold medal and is probably cheating on her, although i'll never tell her my suspicions, but seriously, this is not on!!

so then she says... i've decided that i should get over myself and maybe buy a vibrator to spice things up...
i nearly fell of my chair that's how hard i laughed...

this woman can't give her husband a blow job, she cringes at the mere thought of it ... and now she wants to try a blooming vibrator?!.... the reasoning astounds me...

so i tried another approach... why don't you just tryyyyyy to give him a teeny weeny little bj... you might like it! omg she blushed bright red... so i rather stopped... and now she wants to try a vibrator!?!... she'll probably buy it and hide it for 5 years before she'll have the guts to open the packaging...

so my last try was telling her to get professional help cause really she doesn't like sex????
ok everybody together now... HER POOR HUSBAND!!!....i am really worried cause this just can't end well, firstly because the husband is just accepting this, ok he still tries after 14 years but am i the only one who sees the obvious...

23 COMMENTS....bite me!:

The Jackson Files said...

The thing with sex is that the less you have it the less you miss it. Suddenly you wake up one morning and realise that it's been 8 months since you last got laid. (Hypothetically, of course, I'm not talking from experience or anything here).

AfroSLiQ Diva said...

Maybe the husband is not doing a great job in the shagging department, then she got bored and decided to not have any if it going to be bad anyways.......

Or maybe the man is still there coz he gets some else where????

It def can't be coz she might be fat, or have a not-so-hot body... it's something much more deeper than that..... Dig 4 more info Sweets!

I have a chubby face, thick waste and bell thighs (basically, I'm tall & chunky) but trust me when I say that it has never stopped me from gettin laid ~

A BJ can be terrible if she cannot do it right though.... she needs help, fast!

Ok now,...... Her Poor Husband!

sweets said...

jacks: LOL... 8 months feels like 8 years doesn't it? Hypothetically speaking that is :)

diva: No, the poor guy apparently is quite adventurous in bed, everything should be just fiiiine... should i offer to show her how a bj is done?? hehe.. she must be WILLING and i think she's just not... quite selfish i think ;)

Glugster said...

HER POOR HUSBAND!!!!

BecauseIcan said...

I think she just hasnt had a good lay.. perhaps he needs to give her one good shag she will never forget and then make her beg for a repeat performance..

I mean really!!

How can you not like sex???

Im appalled!!

And I don't feel sorry for her husband.. He needs to stop being so dem complacent and do something about it.. Sexuality is very important in a relationship.. its what bonds you.. or else you may as well be living with your mates..

P.S. what if he is actually gay though?

sweets said...

glugs: LOL i know the horror...!!

bic: the more i think about this it's either that he's gay or he is DEFINITELY getting some elsewhere... and she's totally oblivious! i totally agree sex is hugely important in a relationship... i'm appalled too... sheesh...just imagine, she doesn't know what she's missing!!!

The Divine Miss M said...

Why don't you offer to do a threesome to teach her? ;)

No but SERIOUSLY THE POOR HUSBAND!!!

But it does sound like she should go and talk to someone about this - that really might help matters.

angel said...

ditto on what jackson said- i can personally vouch for the fact that you can get used to going without... at least, i know a woman can.
i agree with you stef- she needs help! the poor thing... and her poor hubby MUST be a saint if he's not cheating and he's still around!

sweets said...

miss m: a threesome is maybe just what all of us need hehe

i actually gave her a number of someone who might help her, just hope just goes!

angel: it's just a bad situation all around, unbelievable that they've been hanging on and not getting help!

Tamara said...

HER POOR HUSBAND! Good grief... once a month. That must suck. Well, actually sounds like she doesn't suck. (Sorry, had to say it.)

She should see a sex therapist. Seriously. Sex is one of the most important bonding things you can do in a marriage. I mean, there's cuddly sex, it's-winter-let's-get-warm sex, drunken sex, make-up sex... She's missing out. And so's he!

I Smile 2 Much said...

Holy hell. Yikes. ONCE a month????!!! Hmmmm... I'm speechless too. Wow. I go NUTTY after 3 days without. (giggle*giggle) HER POOR HUBBY. Yikes. Maybe they can shop together for vibrators & etc? Maybe she just needs some slight persuasion & gentle enouragement (??????) Oh yikes, I dunno. I cant imagine. Keep talkin with her & knock some sense into her (lol) ; ) Wow.

c@th said...

her.poor.husband. oh my sack

Bridget said...

Arg man. He is getting is somewhere else. And that girl is a lesbian. She just doesn't know it yet.

Elise said...

Oh my God! Take her shopping. Get her a really sexy outfit. I do that all the time. As soon as I see something I need to buy it and then try it out.

Sex is too good to be missed. The poor guy. He must feel awful.

An erotic novel! Get her one of those. She should try out her vibrator. Get to know her own body before getting him to use it on her.

They should watch porn or something.

Oh my god I can't stop thinking about it. I really want to help them! xx

Southern Sage said...

I could change her mind in undr an hour.
Just sayin


haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Dang sweets why didn't you offer to come over twice a week if she'll keep the kids and help her out helping him out??

Slyde said...

i think in general married couples get bored with each other, and become less and less adventorous when they should be getting MORSO...

THATS why most people cheat.. to bring that adventure back alittle..

SheBee said...

you know, i actually think the vibrator is a good idea.

once she knows how to please herself, she can involve him!

sweets said...

tam: hehe it would be great if she sucked hey hehe

smile: i'm doing the best i can, the whole horse and water thing you know ;)

cath: oh my sack yes

bridge: just leave it to you to say it like it is...

elise: i feel the same way, can't stop thinking about this problem, i really want to help but it's so difficult... i just hope she listened when i dished out some advise

sage: i think i should fly you in just for her, you would cure her for sure hehe

slyde: thing is she never was adventurous on any level... so anything would be better than what they have now i think

sheebs: let's hope... i'll keep you guys posted!!

BecauseIcan said...

i wonder if she is reading this..


hmmmmmm

sweets said...

bic: no! she doesn't even know that i blog... :)

ozymandiaz said...

I coulda swore I had a comment here
something about if she ever had an orgasm?

sweets said...

ozzy nope no comment from you, it's not like i deleted it in secret ya know! LOL

about the orgasm, i wanted to ask her but she would have died if i did, i don't think she's ever had the pleasure to be honest... honest to God sometimes i'm very glad to be me :)

supermom said...

Sad thing is that this actually happens often. With too many marriages. I know of a couple who only has sex once every 3 months!!!! Nee man. Sjoe.

 
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