Tuesday, February 5, 2008

being the man of the house...

What i miss about not having a man around the house....is to kill creepy crawlies... ok that's number two... i also miss having regular sex but hey...the creepy crawlies...they are right up there on my list...there is nothing in this world that freaks me out more than goggas... and since i've become the “man” in the house i have to do all of these things that i'm not really built to do...

when i moved the previous time i had a humongous spider that i had to kill...and doom just didn't do the trick...i was sure i saw the bugger taking his huge spidery legs and wiping the doom right off it's beady little eyes...the doom just did nada to this sucker...he just snickered at me and stood on his hind legs...swaying from side to side...ready to kill me in two seconds flat... i shit you not...so i took the broom and ended it right there...who's YOUR mommy now mf??!!!....

when i got divorced my best friend gave me excellent advice...she said... your kids...they must know that you can do ANYTHING...that nothing scares you, spiders, snakes (help me God i would faint if i ever got a snake in my house)...burglars (with these i would first pee in my panties and then faint)...but it's been good advice anyway...i have shown my beatsties that there is nothing i'm afraid of, nothing i show fear to in front of them anyway...




pooh bear (my hero) said in one of his movies and these are words i now live by...

...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think...


in the face of anything i will actually stand up and take the challenge... and my kids know this, and somehow they feel better knowing this and me, i feel better knowing this too...

it's getting easier now, kay's old enough to start taking over some of the spider killing duties, he took care of a dead bird we found under my bed left there by the hunter in the house, my cat billy...yikes...it's not that i'm afraid of the dead bird it's just plain disgusting... those hard spiky feet...no thanks... i couldn't touch the bird so my 12 year old son looked at me as if i was totally stupid...really mommy... took a plastic bag and took it out to the trash...I gave him a big fat hug and a motherly kiss right after i bathed him in dettol...

6 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Bridget said...

One day I'll be like you ... for now I call the neighbors if I need anything killed.

Nosjunkie said...

thats good advice especially since you have boys they will need to learn bravery from you

sweets said...

bridge: all my neighbours are female dammit...LOL

lee: my poor babies...!!!

angel said...

aw sweet- you have a hero in the house!!! and you know what- pretending you aren't scared eventually programs your brain not to be for real...

and on that note- you do NOT kill spiders ever!!!

Natalie said...

Beautiful post sweetass, some good advice there too! You should be so proud of yourself, I am sure your kids are!

Louisa said...

Doom?! Doom won't kill a f-ing spider sweetass! This is how you do it:

Empty a can of Doom on the critter - it won't kill it, but it will sure as hell slow it down.

Next step, vacumm it up...most vacuums have a nice extension so you can do it from pretty far away. Chase it with some really fine gravel or some coarse sand...

Let the machine run a bit to mince the f-er up good and proper (10 minutes should do it if the power holds).

You'd have to be one heck of a McGyver Spider to get through that in one piece! (In my experience it has never happened yet).

No that's how you kill a spider.

 
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