boys & their toys!

this is what happens in my house every night... we get home, homework already finished at ouma's house (thanks ouma i don't know what i would do without you!!!) then we have supper, and then we flop down for our line-up on tv... our line-up is just ours, me and my 2 boys, our little inner circle-activity. well, no problem so far, my problem comes in when every night, after about 10 minutes of watching tv my two boys do the same thing, their hands inevitably find their way into their pj's!!! wtf??? i work hard to maintain a open relationship with them with regards to sex and such but what do i do with this??? there is no hubby i can poke in the ribs and point... i've told them no no no my darling, don't do that, if you absolutely have to do this (haha they obviously do) go to the bedroom or somewhere private ok? "ok mommy" they solemnly reply, and tomorrow night... same thing! then i've tried to joke about the "problem" but now it turns out that they find it absolutely hilarious, i must admit it is really funny, shame these small little willies get with the action, and then they jump to attention, then my 7 year old must show mommy what his willy's up to (excuse the pun)... and i'm supposed to keep a straight face! it seems all men from the youngest of them always will have this fascination with their tools, girls don't have this do they? scary stuff being a parent. one good thing is that my eldest does not have a problem talking to me about anything, we've discussed it all, wet dreams, boner's, blow job's everything, you may think i'm too liberated but let me tell you, if you don't tell your kid about this stuff, someone else will, i opted to rather tell him myself

my son turns 12!

i remember being pregnant, with an enormous boep...


i remember giving birth after 18 hours of labour...


i remember every second of that day...


my life was never the same again...

on the 4th of august that same baby boy will be 12 years old... time sure does fly when you're having fun. i just can't believe my baby boy is almost 12! i still feel 12 years old most of time myself so when did all this happen??? i had two kids and two divorces (same guy...oops) in the last 18 years... it all went by too quickly(the good parts that is), i know i sound like a old woman today but my goodness it all really goes by so flippin fast.

both my boys are incredible little human beings, i really have been blessed (most of the time anyway haha) the ~un~blessed times were my own fault, wrong decisions, plenty of those darling... anyway....

happy birthday darling boy, i try my best every day to teach you all that is good and hope that life will smile on you, remember to be happy always ok? i think in life you choose to be happy or not to be happy, choose to be happy, promise me that please. it's so much fun to be alive, we've got so much to be thankful for, make the most of every second! i'll be on the sideline cheering you on, screaming my little heart out, you've made me so proud, sometimes i can't believe that i played a part in you being who you are. always be the kind, caring, funny and lovable kid you are today, you've really made my life so worth it. love you so very much, like i always tell you...

i don't know what i would have done without you!!!

love you always and forever and ever XXX

My annual visit to the gynecologist....

i hate going to the gyni, ok i hate going to the dentist even more, but still... sitting in a floral pink nightgown with your ankles in the air is not my idea of fun, well... ok won't go there! and to top it all off the whole affair cost me a smashing R810, ridiculous!!! no wonder everybody wants to be a doctor, or a plumber, apparently they also make uber bucks. the verdict was pleasing, nothing to worry about except.... i have to, have to, have to stop smoking. oh dear.... my gyni is a very friendly guy, a real sweetie pie but today he was very upset with me, that's a bit of an understatement... apparently i forgot to tell him that i am a smoker. i really did not hide this fact from him on purpose, sort of just never came up in our discussion, sheish, he should have asked me if it was so bloody important! i knew it was important though, so i confessed, i thought the guy was going to pop a vein, his left temple was throbbing profusely.... oops (no no it was not the sight of my vajaijai that did this) ... his reaction just really scared me. so he told me about a book i should read, i've heard from other ex-smokers that it apparently works like a charm. it's called allan carr's easy way to quit smoking. that title is probably the most widely used phrase of all time, right after "the cheque is in the mail". the only reason why i would consider buying this book, R167 @ kalahari.net, is that i've heard that it works. a carton of smokes cost me roughly the same, so for now i'll smoke only 10 cigarettes a day, that's what the doctor said, and i'll buy the book and tell you if it works. according to me i've got lungs of steel, i swear, i run every day and never ever cough, not bad for 35 year old chick-a-babe, don't u think? anyway i just hate the idea of giving up smoking, i really like to smoke, any smoker will tell you this, we don't lie when we say this, it's really nice, don't try it, just trust me on this! my son made me very cross one day and i stormed out of the house to calm down, obviously with a cigarette, when i came back in i was much calmer, he looked at me and said "mommy sometimes it's a good thing that you smoke!" well there you have it, even my son agrees, but i have to listen to the doctor, after 35, on the pill, your chances of getting a stroke apparently grows tremendously, i scare easily, so i will do my best to listen to my good doctor.... i think i'll go have a smoke now...

Internet dating

what happened to the days when you met your future bloke in the local supermarket or at a friends party? i'm at that age, all my friends are married, good for them, i'm not so lucky, i'm divorced, happily i might add, but still divorced. now the problem is that it seems that all the available guys i've met thus far are not hooked up for a reason... they are either not relationship material or they are just plain icky, you know the kind where i would rather gladly (chomp chomp) opt for a mouth full of cut glass before i would kiss that guy, urghhhh, thanks but no thanks honey!

so what is a girl to do??? internet dating they say.... oh dear, things certainly have changed.... so i tried it, you can't knock something until you've tried it right? now people, hear me, on the web is all, or most at least of the craziest weirdo's mankind could scrape together in one tight-knit, horny community, cause really that's all it is, everybody is horny and looking for some humping... shag....shag... that i realised after about 1 day, shocking, i must be more conservative than i ever imagined! the one proposed black leather outfits and whips, yeah right insane person, i would love to meet you??!!!! the other guy told me, ok toots we all know why we are on this site, i want to shag your sweet ass, i just hope you have no pubes, cause mr crazy does not like pubes, good heavens, now meeting a guy like that would just be like....dumb, like meeting most of the guys i "met" online, they are not your average guy at all, really, trust me, don't go there... unless.... you actually meet someone nice.

my stubborn nature could not believe that there was not one normal guy that could actually be a sane, nice guy.... and lo and behold i actually found him, or did i? i chose him as a favourite and we started chatting online, but i was soooo scared that he was a serial rapist just waiting to grab my sweet ass... you know?? so i kept at it, chatting away and after about two months of chatting, i actually agreed to meet mr online, spoke to him on the phone, check, saw his photo, check, told a friend where i would be, check, but i was as nervous as hell.... thank goodness the date went ok, no awkwardness, no earth shattering fireworks though, but i have to admit that fireworks, although it's very sweet and great, is highly overrated and not on the top of my list of priorities anymore... been there got a drawer full of t shirts... so we'll see, he's ok, but i must admit full of sh&t like most men, oh dear i think i will opt to stay single for a while longer, who knows one day my knight in shining armour may still knock on my front door... i'm waiting in anticipation!

To dream the impossible dream!

my best friend and I have decided to dream the impossible...Comrades... i am out of breath just thinking about it... let me just say that i have serious reservations if we will ever be able to do the comrades but we can dream about it ok, give me that! i think it must be one of the greatest achievements ever, not for anyone else; but a very personal achievement. i have a loooooong way to go, my friend even a longer way to go, she hasn't even started training, i know i know, we are being slightly (hehe) unrealistic! but it's a nice dream, you have to admit... i can just picture us, we are firstly not very quiet, so we will be laughing and joking all the way, ja i know that won't last long, reality has a way of getting to you very quickly! anyway, the other problem is that we are both smokers, so we will have to have several smoke-breaks along the way, cough cough...

Ok ok, i know it's an IMPOSSIBLE dream, but WTF I'm gonna do my best to achieve this one ... just for me!

Hello...anybody out there??

well, here i am.

hello me.

my sweet ass turned into a big ass over the last year, i swear i never noticed it, and bam! there it was... with a life of it's own! If you've never had a bigger than usual ass then you will have no idea what i'm going on about, but if you do understand, hello sista! anyhoo i decided that enough is enough and to urgently with NO delay have to take up my lonnnnnng lost love.....drumroll....running. now if you are not a runner you will not get this but trust me if that running bug bites your ass (no pun intended) it never goes away, it's really fun, try it! first of course it's always advisable to buy good running shoes, my old trusted running shoes was; how can i put this nicely... f&cked, so off i went to sportsman's warehouse. i tried on too many pairs and was lost after a while, which one is best?? i should have taken along one of my friends but being an impulse buyer, after the decision was made i grabbed my keys and drove off. due to the fact that i'm a girl i tend doubt my choice, i only had my trusted salesgirl (never a good idea) to ask an opinion. wanting her to UNDERSTAND where i'm going with this...i said:

me: i'm looking for really good shoes sussie, you see i'm heavy (haha understatement!) and i really really need good shoes

salesgirl: yes madam i can see you are heavy...

me: WTF!?

salesgirl: it's really good shoes

me: where's the till?



i'm allowed to say it, nobody else, really, nobody else is allowed to say that i'm heavy, cause if they say it it's true... sheish...so i set off looking for my 2 rascals trying their hand at golf or punching the boxing thingie in the other corner. i don't know why i take them to the shops with me anymore, i spend too much money with them around, it takes me twice as long and i'm twice as tired because believe me when a 11 yr old and a 8 yr old decide they want something... say no more. i promise myself never to take them shopping with me, and yet they jump into the backseat with such enthusiasm every time i pick up my car keys...

so i'm running again, the first while my sweet ass rebelliously wobbled along but thank God the wobbling has subsided considerably... running baby, it changes your world!!