my sweet ass...

i'm really doing my best, running like crazy every single day, granted it's only 2km a day, but still, it should have some effect on this sweet ass of mine by now shouldn't it?? ok i've lost a few centimetres, whoopee, maybe i should consider plastic surgery, but on my budget and with the ex non payment policy (child support), i'm going to dream about plastic surgery until i get my pension.

i think i'm getting old, no correction, my body's getting old, last time i checked i was still a jolly 16 year old, ok so that's not very convincing... but i'm sure everybody feels like this, i really really do not feel my age, but when little kiddies and not so little cute guys start calling you Tannie (afrikaans for auntie) that's it, you are now legally old. so unfair don't u think??

the other day i was out with some friends for dinner and this young bloke kept ogling me the whole night, no lies... after about an hour of enjoying the ogling (thank you very much), i thought no no no, can't be, it must be some other chick he's eyeing, cause although i have the confidence of a whale at the moment, this guy was not bad looking, actually very cute on my sweet ass scale, anyhow, i gracefully accepted that the poor ogler probably has had too much booze forced down his throat and that he saw me through the eyes of a drunk guy (anything goes by that point). as we left i told myself, just test this guy again and see if it really is you and your sweet ass he's checking out so oh-delightfully, cause i still could not believe that i was the object of his drunken affection... and you could have slapped me on my sweet ass (very rare privilege) when the cute guy told his friend... loud enough for me to hear, i kid you not...

"that sure is a sexy tannie..."

i'm old...

Hello...anybody out there??

well, here i am.

hello me.

my sweet ass turned into a big ass over the last year, i swear i never noticed it, and bam! there it was... with a life of it's own! If you've never had a bigger than usual ass then you will have no idea what i'm going on about, but if you do understand, hello sista! anyhoo i decided that enough is enough and to urgently with NO delay have to take up my lonnnnnng lost love.....drumroll....running. now if you are not a runner you will not get this but trust me if that running bug bites your ass (no pun intended) it never goes away, it's really fun, try it! first of course it's always advisable to buy good running shoes, my old trusted running shoes was; how can i put this nicely... f&cked, so off i went to sportsman's warehouse. i tried on too many pairs and was lost after a while, which one is best?? i should have taken along one of my friends but being an impulse buyer, after the decision was made i grabbed my keys and drove off. due to the fact that i'm a girl i tend doubt my choice, i only had my trusted salesgirl (never a good idea) to ask an opinion. wanting her to UNDERSTAND where i'm going with this...i said:

me: i'm looking for really good shoes sussie, you see i'm heavy (haha understatement!) and i really really need good shoes

salesgirl: yes madam i can see you are heavy...

me: WTF!?

salesgirl: it's really good shoes

me: where's the till?



i'm allowed to say it, nobody else, really, nobody else is allowed to say that i'm heavy, cause if they say it it's true... sheish...so i set off looking for my 2 rascals trying their hand at golf or punching the boxing thingie in the other corner. i don't know why i take them to the shops with me anymore, i spend too much money with them around, it takes me twice as long and i'm twice as tired because believe me when a 11 yr old and a 8 yr old decide they want something... say no more. i promise myself never to take them shopping with me, and yet they jump into the backseat with such enthusiasm every time i pick up my car keys...

so i'm running again, the first while my sweet ass rebelliously wobbled along but thank God the wobbling has subsided considerably... running baby, it changes your world!!