Tuesday, September 11, 2007

relationships with a divorced mom…

so I was wondering…this is not an offer…maybe it is…*nervous giggle*…nahhh…what’s the deal with single men and divorced moms…men seem to be very scared…strong word…but so freaking obvious…to get involved with divorced single mom’s…understand this please…i’m not looking for a guy to be the father of my kids…really they have their own dad…I’m not even looking for a full-time hard-core relationship….i want a guy that i can see every other weekend…maybe some in between…if we feel like it…no pressure…so the new guy can still go along his merry singlelish (new word haha) way…and we talk on the phone maybe every other day…go to parties…whatever…see each other when it suits us both…and of course have wild and wonderful sex as often as humanly possible…doesn’t that sound great!?…cause you see my problem is that i’m quite busy being a full-time single mom…and to have some bloke moving into my house…disrupting my life and harmony with my kids…they are not ready for that…and quite frankly…neither am i…i just want someone…but not full time….weird innit??...i can even throw in a ~fuck me~ tattoo on my sweet ass...hehe...it sounds perfect!...but it seems men can’t get past the kids…i come out of a very long-term relationship…i don’t plan to be someone’s wife soon…so why do guys think that after the first date i will be looking for a suitable engagement ring?...i don’t want that...i want someone that is mine but not on a full time basis…if we are still bonking our brains out after five years…still laugh at each other’s stupid jokes…sure, come meet my family…move your stuff over…but for now…the casual relationship could be perfect….the only problem i have with this arrangement may be that the guy will involuntarily (like men do…sigh)…feel the need to spread his seed beyond our casual relationship…i will probably have to purchase some device monitoring his sexual endeavors…beyond our own humping happiness that is…that’s another thing…way back when i was still available for wild sex without strings…ok that never happened…but I could have been that girl…apparently there is this nasty virus going around…maybe you’ve heard of it…hiv/aids…and according to new dating rules issued 1998: subsection 14... it’s apparently correct protocol to ask your new sexual partner to take a hiv test before you do the deed…right, like someone will have the guts to ask their new beau that…

sweet ass me: sweet sex pistol guy…will you be following protocol and have the hiv test done before you bang my brains out?

horny him: who me? i’m cool babes…come hither…

sweet ass me: …if you want a piece of this sweet ass…with my new tattoo...get the test…please…i really want to go yonder…

back to square one…i ask you…catch 22 indeed…

5 COMMENTS....bite me!:

Philip said...

Gee, you make dating sound so fun!

angel said...

once long ago, when i was that way inclined, i had a "fuck-buddy" (to use sex-and-the-city terminology) for almost two years. we actually discussed the rules up front and were very clear on what we both wanted and it was truly fabulous... then when he started asking about coming to my house (i always went to his) it ended. i think he's married now.
and now i'm celebrating my fourth anniversary of celibacy... not only because i'm afraid of hiv/aids, which i am, but also because i want to try and set an example for my darling damien! its now been more than 6 years since i had a man in MY bed.

Ziji Wangmo said...

You go girl! The problem is...you get your stud muffin and it becomes hard to let him go...don't you think???
As for the HIv question - not so romantic -definitely not the question you ask in the heat of the moment. Honestly, 'm not sure when you ask it.
I'm lovin' the tatoo idea.

Anonymous said...

Hi

Have you thought about looking to more self sufficient solutions

Sweetass RSA said...

i know anonymous...self sufficient solutions...roger that...hehe...that's what i've been doing!..ahem...but i must admit there is nothing like the real deal!

 
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