long hair vs short hair

i'm the short haired girl... it seems to me that all the other girls have long hair.

i was one of those girls for most of my life, never had the guts to chop all the locks off, but one day i did it, and you know what, my arm didn't fall off, and no ugly moles suddenly appeared on my nose, i just cut it all off and it was great!!! it was like getting a new personality. nobody could believe that i cut it all off, i had really long, really curly thick hair... and then the hairdresser did a clipper cut on me for the next 6 months, i guess i was a bit rebellious... but you know how much money i saved on conditioner!!! i don't even use conditioner anymore, why that gives me such a thrill i still don't get...someone once asked me why did i cut off my hair, and i had to think about this because there was more to it than just "because"

... i needed to change, that was the reason i came up with, and it worked....

i changed....

i don't think the fact that i cut all my hair off made me get a divorce, that would be quite silly, but it did "something" for me. i have nothing against long hair, believe me, i sometimes still miss my long hair, but you know what i found out, guys like long hair... bummer... and yet that doesn't even faze me anymore, if a guy likes me for my hair first, you have to be kidding right??!!! helloo!!!! there is actually a person underneath the hair and the body and the big ass, someone who can be defined without a ponytail. i am quite baffled by the whole thing, i refuse to let my hair grow again, just to catch a man, you gotta be kidding me!!! then i will rather go without thanks.... people don't believe me when i say that i will rather be single for the rest of my life rather than have someone, and not be happy... i was so unhappy for such a fucking long time in my life...

i get a panic attack at the thought of being that long haired woman again... i will rather be a tomboy with short hair and be able to fall asleep ~alone~ with a smile on my face, than to be that terribly unhappy person ever again. if it wasn't for the sex i would actually make a great lesbian, but arrrghhhh no thanks, a real flesh and blood dick is what i prefer hehe!