fabulous it's friday!!!

you all know i'm VERY lazy on fridays...

so....

HOPE YOU ENJOY :)

remember this is supposed to be funny... hehe i love squirrels ok?!

AIN'T THIS THE TRUTH!!!



have a great weekend ya'll!!!

failure to launch

oh my fcuk... i just hate bloody facebook... i've tried... i really have... but to be honest it's not working for me... why??

i don't have the faintest but there it is... i'm admitting defeat...

sigh

how people can spend hours on facebook i honestly... smack me silly... just don't get! i have this nagging feeling that i'm missing something that everybody else is getting but... that's just how it is...

recently i was complaining to an old friend of mine about not seeing her often enough and her solution is... are you on facebook?? as if that is that answer to world peace!... but is that a good enough substitute for actual friendship... hell no! i have online friends... people that i will never see or never meet... and that's cool i have contact with them on facebook and with blogging ... but my real life friends... don't expect me to catch up with you on bloody facebook... how absolutely random is that??

so to my facebook friends... firstly thank you for your patience... i do send cards and stickers and stuff your way... i'm slow ... i know i am... it even takes a while to register that i have something new to accept... oy, for some reason i find this whole thing very embarrassing... then there's the friends issue... i only have 24 friends... some people have literally hundreds... wtf is that all about??? i find facebook such a strange medium, it's totally odd and totally useful and totally useless all at the same time...

bottom line: i won't cancel facebook but it's really not blowing my hair back... because:

1. i have no clue how to cancel my profile :)


2. i have found some people out of my deep dark past that is very very cool, so for that i have to give facebook a cheer...

but spending hours on facebook...

not... likely :)

i'm such a sucker

hi my name is sweets and i'm addicted to taking online quizzes... any quiz and i'm there... i can't help myself... i follow a link to do ONE quiz... and 20 minutes later i've finished 15... i even volunteer to do surveys... how stupid right?! to willingly do a survey!...honestly... Nick had some links on his blog and *sigh* the rest is history... all the bloody quizzes are usually relatively spot on... but this one hit the mark 100% it's almost scary... so i thought i would share it with you... blogthings must be psychic :)

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy

You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on

You enjoy all sorts of situations.

Parties, small groups, and alone time.

Too much of one, and you'll long for the other.

You need variety!

Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends -

and they don't get along.

bat out of hell

if you were a kid who would you prefer??

a dad who has two crocodiles... live ones i shit you not... a horse... PlayStation... motorbikes... parties.... when you go visit daddy you don't have to brush your teeth, take a bath, eat anything that's healthy, you can go to bed when you want to and watch any dvd you want to... age restrictions does not apply in his house...

or a mom who doesn't have any of those things and doesn't allow any of those things...?!

now how the farking hell am i supposed to compete with that??... so i'm not even trying... and i'm shocked at the fact that it doesn't bother me that much...

here's a list of things i tell my kids every single day, these words will probably never ever pass over the lips of batman...

• time to get up sweeties, rise and shine!!!


• go eat your breakfast!


• brush your teeth!


• jay get up, you're going to be late!!!


• make up your bed


• tidy your room!


• tuck in your shirt!


• where's your lunchbox?


• did you take your vitamins?!


• flush the blooming toilet boys!!!


• i love you sweetie, have a good day at school, i love you forever and forever!


• don't worry you'll do fine :)


• did you do your homework?


• come here let me help you with that


• let's go study for your test


• concentrate!


• how was your rugby game?


• i'm so proud of you!


• go jump into the bath


• did you wash behind your ears?


• remember to wash your hair


• eat your veggies!


• drink your milk


• come give your mother a hug


• don't swear... who teaches you to swear like that?!


• it's reading time!! no... i don't want to hear a word out of you for the next 30 minutes... read!!


• go brush your teeth


• ok it's time for bed...


• go to bed now!!!


• i love you too sweetheart


• let's pray...

so no wonder they come back after a weekend and think... mom you suck ever so slightly... daddy is so cool... so when cool daddy is not around... i have to chase away the monsters in the middle of the night because he allows them watch movies like blood diamond... not cool batman, not cool at all... so i shut my mouth and do the best i can cause that's all i can do really... and by the grace of God my boys will turn out to be normal, decent guys :)

batman has turned into a pudding pappa... not a good thing to be... and i'm just not going to compete with that... my backyard is too small for crocodiles anyway ;)

bloggirls

i just love to meet bloggers! yesterday i met 5 other south african bloggers!!! they are... in no particular order...

doodles of a journo ; jackson files with Jackson himself! ; Glad to be a girl ; msmozi ; Angel and Sleepy Jane's

luckily i've met other bloggers before so i wasn't as nervous as some of the others were... i picked up my tjom Angel and off we went in search of our girl date venue... lemme just say that angel and i won't be the next amazing race winners... wmahahahahahaha we got lost going there and going back home... but nothing a map book, some friendly security guards and a cigarette or two coudn't fix...

they are all great woman, i was shocked at how normal they were... hehe... as i'm sure they were shocked that i'm a normal person too... but great fun and conversation and the cutest Jackson, the only male among us... i'm definitely going to the next event!

have any of you guys ever met other bloggers? i've now met 7... pretty cool i think!

ok gotta run, dragon lady is blowing fire this morning... have a good one :)

blogger support

hey you beautiful people... i'm sick so i thought i would use the bloggers i read to entertain you today...

my favourite post of the week is Nick... do yourself a favour and read his heartfelt post and check out the pics, i am of course a sucker for good pictures and these hit the mark in a really big way...

then my gaaaaaaawgis friend Angel wrote why she should be voted the baddest mommy of them all... if you like her post, vote for her, there's actually a competition going on the bad mommy blog... Angel you've got my vote, you are a rock star tjomma... !!

my babe Bridget has been going through some major tough times and this post just touched my mommy heart in a big way, read it~you won't regret it!

Sage did a very interesting post, about capital punishment... being such a naughty boy he does surprise with posts like these ;)

then if you want to see the cutest kid ever! do yourself a favour and go check Jackson out... he makes me smile every single day, and that's the truth :)

and last but not least a beautiful poem by Ozzy... this guy made me fall in love with poetry...

have a good weekend ya'll...

hope to be all better on Monday!

vibrating alert

A while back i wrote a post about blow jobs, among other things i talked about a friend of mine who had, how can i put this without sounding condescending?... slight problems in the bedroom... well about 2 weeks ago I had lunch with her, after much giggling and wine I dared to ask how it's going in that department... oh boy~

her poor husband

is all i can say... she admitted he told her that he's made peace with the fact that she's cold and that she doesn't like sex...

i nearly chocked on my french fry...

am i the only one who sees big fat red warning lights flashing... Danger! Danger! So i decided to stop beating around the bush and whack the proverbial bush with a few direct questions...

my friend!!! why don't you like sex? Did something happen to you when you were a child, or with a old boyfriend or anything... just tell me what happened to make you feel like this about sex?

No, nothing has ever happened...i just don't like sex and i guess i just hate my own body and can't imagine my husband liking it...

... i was speechless for a few seconds...

this carries on for a bit admitting that she "helps" him out once a month when he becomes too irritable.... ok everybody together now...HER POOR HUSBAND!!! i didn't ask what the "helping out" was but she probably lay there making a shopping list in her head and he was actually helping himself... unreal... I can't see that this man is doing anything wrong, i know him and he is a nice normal joe who truly loves his wife, he apparently tells her all the time how beautiful she is and how much he wants her and such and so on... and STILL after 14 years of marriage... nothing! Why they are still married i have no clue, he deserves a gold medal and is probably cheating on her, although i'll never tell her my suspicions, but seriously, this is not on!!

so then she says... i've decided that i should get over myself and maybe buy a vibrator to spice things up...
i nearly fell of my chair that's how hard i laughed...

this woman can't give her husband a blow job, she cringes at the mere thought of it ... and now she wants to try a blooming vibrator?!.... the reasoning astounds me...

so i tried another approach... why don't you just tryyyyyy to give him a teeny weeny little bj... you might like it! omg she blushed bright red... so i rather stopped... and now she wants to try a vibrator!?!... she'll probably buy it and hide it for 5 years before she'll have the guts to open the packaging...

so my last try was telling her to get professional help cause really she doesn't like sex????
ok everybody together now... HER POOR HUSBAND!!!....i am really worried cause this just can't end well, firstly because the husband is just accepting this, ok he still tries after 14 years but am i the only one who sees the obvious...

from the mouths of babes...

it's winter here... during the night my two beasties crawl into bed with me cause they're cold...

...with all of us in bed and me in my flannels it just gets too darn hot so I take off my pj pants to sleep comfortably...

the other morning jay looks at me when i get out of bed with only my panties (and my tshirt) on and says...

mommy would you do me a favour?

sure baby what's up?

please warn me next time if you plan to sleep only in your panties ok??...

to infinity and beyond

as you all know there are two certainties in life... death and taxes right?!... well this here topic of mine is the first of the two... have you ever thought about your own funeral?... i KNOW it's totally ridiculous and depressing and stupid...

but i have thought about it... needless to say i was drunk at the time but yes i have thought about it... and when drunk, everything seems less daunting, you're brave as hell~ so...a plan had to be made about this inevitability, why the hell leave all the arrangements to the scary oom at Avbob? (local funeral home)

my biggest fear of course... will people go to my funeral??

ahhhhhhhhhh your last moment of glory and nobody pitches... fuck that would be the pits... ok so my whole extended family will come... otherwise i'll haunt them i swear... so that's about 4 pews worth... then my friends... hmmmm another few pews i think... and then~ me in a casket??? oh man that is just gross! dead people really freak me out in a big fucking way...

so a good friend of mine and moi with the dutiful bottle of red wine close by... ok 3 bottles of wine later... came up with the idea of starting a business where you arrange your funeral before you die... mwhahahahahaha crazy right? but you know how many people have told us they would do it? scary and eerie all at the same time!!!...

so here is what i want for my funeral...

• cremation... nobody needs to be there, really please please please just don't do that to yourself... and no ashes need to be scattered either... i promise you i'll blow right back into your face, so be warned!
• no church service, and no dead body... that is really just snot and trane waiting to happen (snot and trane would be snot and tears for those who don't understand Boer)
• there should be a short service out somewhere in a big beautiful veld, where someone, not necessarily a pastor should say countless stunning things about me... he can lie if he wants to but stunning and beautiful things he shall say :)
• in the background Free by the lighthouse family
• THEN the piece de resistance... hehe red helium balloons for everyone to be let go into the heavens... i know how very Mardi Gras of me...
• and then the party starts... a picnic with wine and munchies and silly stories about the dead one... rock on baby~ rest in peace!

i know~ totally stupid but i would rather have that kind of funeral than the doom and gloom of a church funeral...

cool in a very weird kind of way, i know :)

eyes wide shut

I have a thing for eyes… a fetish?... not really, but close... come to think of it... nah don't worry... rather leave that particular thought unexplored!

I don’t know why but I just can’t get enough of it, I have hundreds of images of eyes on my pc and I love to look through them, to find new ones ...initially I was fascinated by classical beauty but the longer I looked at eyes the more other images caught my eye and the genetically blessed seemed to lose their extreme beauty…

but...blue eyes still hold my interest, I can’t help myself, I don’t know if I’m jealous or oblivious but I can’t help staring...

I wonder who these people are that belongs to these eyes, the stories they would tell... here are a few of my favourites, share in my craziness ;)

so it's Friday!... last night i couldn't remember what day of the week it was, felt like Wednesday for some reason ... so I got up and checked my pill packet to make sure... just one more reason why I refuse to stop taking them... very handy :)

go wild

go crazy

be happy this weekend ya'll!!!

professor

my little man kay...

he looks just like a professor with his glasses on!

don't be deceived...this cute green eyed professor is also the cause of countless grey hairs on my head at the moment...

hard to imagine looking at the pics right?

going to work pic style :)

taking pictures while driving to work...

very entertaining stuff

... ok the pic's are a bit jumbled...

and i took all of the pics while driving

i thought i would show you what i see every morning of the week...

above is quite a pretty street i drive down, with a yellow taxi driving past... this is NOT how our taxi's looks like, i think these yellow taxi cabs are done by the AA (automobile association) but i think it's too expensive for the average south african to afford, so we do the sensible thing and rather buy a car for ourselves ;)

this is where i work, behind the high wall and the high security gate :)

the neighbouring guest house dustbins, i think they're quite prettily decorated! every house is issued with one of these dust bins, previously dogs had a field day eating everybody's garbage, remember those days?!

aint that a pretty gate... yes this is what most houses in SA look like... hmmm but you can't see the house right?! hehe that's cause there are high walls and electric fencing to keep us safe from the skollies :)

arrive at work... 8 o'clock sharp!

i listen to highveld on my way to work...

the average speed i drive off the highway... i hate traffic!!

that is NOT a tree, it's a cellphone tower cleverly disguised as a tree, vodacom initiative, there are palm trees too, cool don't you think!

career junction with a pole add... i think it was for a ice cream taster.... hehe

this is a sculpture in a park i pass every day, quite cool, huge head kind of effort

that's the voortrekker monument... and yes that is a smudge it's not a ufo :)
morning traffic... need i say more!

more... i like this pic... with the sun

that's me, see the hair is curly and getting there!!

there you go... that's how i get to work and what i see EVERY SINGLE MORNING Monday to Friday... i thought of turning this into a meme but hey everybody is so bloody irritable about meme's i thought i would rather not... hint hint for those who loves taking pics... and anybody else who wants to do this... just lemme know so i can go check yours out :)

hint... hint... these two girls absolutely loves taking pics... come on girls!!

ANGEL!!!!

JACKSON!!!!...

this was so much fun :)