yikes... jimmy choo's

i never post about politics, well i may have innocently mentioned something yesterday... but that won't be happening again soon... politics, religion... that's like talking about ovaries and prostate cancer... really not the nicest of topics... and needless to say, nobody agrees with anybody... least of all me ;)

let's rather talk about trivial, unimportant, laughable stuff like... my lack of shoes... i seriously need to get the girly~shoe~hormones going, when other woman talk about having millions pairs of shoes and never ever having enough shoes i think to myself... i'm missing something somewhere, but what????????????... my shoes match all my outfits... sure what girl can say no to jimmy choo's but honestly... who can afford those? so does my lack of wanting shoes like other woman make me less of a woman, no i know it doesn't but for some reason it really irritates me that there seems to be this global concsciousness... about shoes... woman can be such bitches... i don't need to be trampled on because i don't like to have more than five pairs of shoes... if we had a shoe contest with running shoes... i'd kick ass... but strappy sandly dainty shoes, i like to look at them, sure... but as soon as i look at the price tag... ugly and expensive!

ok... i have to admit... that shoe in the pic is stunning... maybe i will have to get myself a pair like that for "special" occasions, maybe i have a few racey~red~stiletto~hormones after all ;)

sometimes

sometimes i'm sickened by our world...unfortunately only sometimes.

but like everybody else i see what's happening in the world, the genocide, the "democracy" fought for by "freedom fighters", some of the soldiers the age of my own two boys... and i turn away to go on with my own life...

i am blessed to live in a country where i can say and do pretty much anything i want to... i am safe... mostly... but i am also free...

we have achieved the democracy that many african countries claim to want and for that i am grateful, but i also know that on our road to freedom we were also puppets and maybe still are... and that... scares me...so i turn my head away and protect what is mine... i'm informed, conscience of others suffering... but that's about it... doesn't go any further than that.... so what... what is the purpose of building "awareness"... when it seems all the powerful nations in our world must also be "aware" of what is happening to millions of innocent people... and yet they don't do a thing to change it.

i don't know what's wrong with me but i keep missing unbelievable movies that's been released years ago... where was I?... i have no clue... i saw Lord of War today... brilliant movie, not because of anything else but the simple fact that it shows how absolutely evil human kind can be...

so, like the rest of the world, i resign myself that there is nothing much i can personally do to change the world, except maybe sign a petition here or there or stick a bumper sticker on my car... would i feel better if i did that?... did i save anybody's life by doing that?...no.

50 things about me...

50 things about me… Expensive mistakes tagged me...

Good luck reading this!

1. I’m grossly impatient, not a good characteristic I know but it gets the job done, that’s about the only good thing about it.
2. I love my hobbies, crafty things, but I haven’t done anything in about 2 years.
3. I don’t like to cuddle, except with my kids, I think I should talk to my shrink about this. I'm not a pedophile or a child molester so don't worry.
4. I don’t go to my shrink anymore, I went for about 6 sessions, my sister insisted, and I have to admit it did wonders for me, but I was impatient, didn’t like the waiting and working through issues, so the last time I just told her: I think I’m healed… halleluja it’s a miracle!
5. I have green fingers, not literally har har… but haven’t planted anything in years.
6. There is a pattern here…I need to start gardening and making crafty things.
7. I love nurseries, all those plants… I love buying plants almost as much as I like…
8. stationary… pens, pencils, notebooks… I love buying stationary almost as much as I like…
9. sex… yes face it if you don’t like sex, you’re doing something wrong.
10. I work because I have to not because I want to. This is not good; I need to change my attitude.
11. I am by nature not a goal oriented person but recently I have changed... and for some reason I don’t like change. That just doesn't make any sense now does it?
12. I am a rehabilitated nail biter.
13. I am addicted to coffee and cigarettes.
14. I don’t like alcohol much, I go through phases, I recently ended my G&T phase, I’m quite sad about that but maybe I drank too much of the stuff. Before that it was spritzers, a mix between white wine and sprite. I tried red wine but I don’t like it much, maybe I should buy wine that costs more than R30 a bottle, apparently that helps.
15. I don’t cook. I prepare food but I don’t cook, there is a difference. I hate even having a kitchen in my house, if I wasn’t responsible for the well being of two short people I would never ever cook.
16. Having said that I I love watching cooking channels.
17. I am an insomniac.
18. Eating bananas makes me sleepy; I think I should donate my body to science when I die.
19. Guess what I do in the middle of night when I can’t sleep? I eat a banana.
20. I hate cell phones. I know they're handy but the person who developed them shouldn’t be proud of himself.
21. I am a right brainer. This basically means that I struggle to learn things left brainers fly through. I wish somebody told me this when I was at school it would have saved me many moments of feeling like the dumbest kid in my class.
22. I hate cleaning up my email inbox.
23. The fact that blogger's spell checker doesn't work is driving me barking mad.
24. I have bunions, yikes eh? They developed at a very young age, so I’ve never really wore high heels much so you barely notice them now.
25. I love panties. I have a huge drawer full of them. If I go shopping and I see a beautiful panty, I have to buy it.
26. I don’t think UFO’s exist, really that’s just dumb.
27. There is a reason why I don’t get DSTV (cable tv?). I would never move away from the TV. I get addicted to TV so I don’t even tempt myself.
28. I haven’t pampered myself in a long long time; I do my own facials, pedicures and manicures. The only thing I have done is my hair and my eyebrows.
29. I started sprouting grey hair when I was 21, very unfair.
30. I’ve only broken one bone in my body, my ankle bone… it’s connected to my leg bone, my leg bone’s connected to my knee bone… I love that song, why? I really don’t know.
31. I love music but can never remember artist’s names or song names.
32. Dancing? Can’t dance but love to dance anyway.
33. One of the most difficult things of all time for me is to save money, I intend to go on a mommy~and~two~boys Christmas holiday and plan to save as much as I can. I actually saved some money in January.
34. I don’t like ice cream, except Danish chocolate ice cream.
35. You will be able to get anything out of me if you give me a packet of Simba Salt and Vinegar chips. Sinful.
36. Did I mention that I like Simba Salt and Vinegar chips, I really do.
37. I also like cocktail pickles, the small potent kind.
38. As soon as I get a raise in March I plan get myself a cleaning lady, but maybe I shouldn’t count my chickens yet.
39. I love cheap sunglasses. I have the coolest pair at the moment.
40. Silver jewelry is what I wear, I love rings and bangles.
41. When the phone rings at home, I have to answer it, like when someone is at the door. I am too curious to not answer, how do people just leave a phone ringing or the doorbell... how do people do that?
42. I buy myself a diary every year but never use it; I like the idea of having a diary.
43. I am a big spender. I have consolidated all my debt and am now debt free, except of course for the loan at the bank. I am surprising myself; I haven’t made new debt in 6 months.
44. I see my parents basically every day. I love them dearly and can’t even bear the thought that something is going to happen to them some day.
45. I know when I’m really really really sick; all I want then is my Mom. I am such a baby.
46. I’m not a girly girl, I should try harder but I just don’t. If I could wear jeans and t-shirts every single day of my life I would be in heaven. I put on make up in the morning and for the rest of the day I don't look at a mirror again.
47. I am a glass~half~full type of person. Negative people gives me the heebeejeebees.
48. Lions scare me.
49. I love toilet paper with pretty pictures on. Such a waste of a pretty picture but hey that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
50. I’ve always wanted a horse of my own; I should really make a plan.
    

dang... i did it!!!

i now have to tag somebody...hmmm... who to pick...?? i would love to pick Kyk but he just won't do it... so i think i'll tag... Birdget...i mean Bridget and.... Elise... come on girl friends, it's actually quite fun.... and Kyk get with the program dude you are way too secretive!

mid week break

i agree

i don't like to write about politics but this is just too good to not share with you... the piece was written by Chris Moerdyk and I think it's brilliant...

We can weather this storm!
05/02/2008 08:44 - (SA)
Chris Moerdyk

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I listen to the current favourite topic of conversation in South Africa right now. The one about the country falling apart because of power outages and political upheavals. Always followed by a decision that it's time once again to consider packing for Perth.

The way some people are wailing and gnashing their teeth and phoning to get quotes for international removals, you'd swear that this was the first time South Africa has ever had any sort of problem. That it was the first time everything looked like it was going to fall apart at the seams and become an ungovernable hellhole of civil disobedience and a kakistocracy of note.
For heaven's sake - doesn't anyone remember how South Africans have overcome all sorts of far worse trials and tribulations? How this country has been the envy of the world in the way it was able to face up to and solve seemingly insurmountable problems?

South Africa's best effort by far was coming through the apartheid era without a bloody civil war. The black people of this country showed phenomenal tolerance and patience. The whites who kept voting the Nats into power (isn't it amazing how one battles nowadays to actually find any white people who voted Nat) eventually saw the light and a peaceful transition was made.
A peaceful transition that was completely in contradiction to the traditional historical type of transition that involved immovable chips on shoulders and a refusal by a minority to succumb to a majority and everything ending in bloody conflict.

A walk in the park Frankly, when you look back at what terrible times South Africans have been through and then look at the crises we are facing today - you have to admit that what is going on now is chicken-feed and potentially very easily overcome. With our track record it will be a walk in the park.

Yes, even winning the war against crime. At least while Mbeki kept trying to tell us there wasn't a crime problem, Zuma has at least had the good grace to admit that it's a huge problem. That at least, must be a step in the right direction.

But nonetheless, there are still so many South Africans who want to get the hell out. I try and kid myself that they want to give up and live somewhere else because they don't understand what this democracy thing is all about.

For example they don't seem to understand that the whole fracas in the run-up to Polokwane with ANC factions fighting tooth and nail was more about democracy in action than portents of a country about to self-destruct.

Just look at the vicious American presidential nomination battle going on, particularly in the Democratic Party. Talk about vicious mudslinging. And so it was in the French presidential elections and the fight between Blair and Brown. Fights that were a lot more vindictive, in my opinion, that the contretemps between Mbeki and Zuma. But, I didn't see Americans and Brits and Frenchmen wanting to leave their countries in droves.

And sure, our crime rate is horrendous and I won't insult your intelligence by trying to kid you with the argument that every other country also has crime. That's a dumb argument and suggests that crime is something we have to live with. We don't, but I get the sense that where criminals used to be considered heroes during the apartheid era and well into the 1990's - that the majority of South Africans are now gatvol and starting to show less and less tolerance.
Optimism Frankly, I am still very optimistic about this country. I love it and I will not leave it. Sure Africa is not for sissies and that's fine - I am no sissy.

While I speak out against crime and corruption and will do my best in my own small way to fight against it, I also realise that South Africa is not the only country with a government that is open to corruption. Frankly, there is not a country in the world where politicians do not succumb to corruption and bribery. Or where business is even more corrupt than the politicians.

And if you do a bit of searching on the internet you'll certainly see that SA is not the only country in the world with an electricity problem - or at least some other huge infrastructural challenge.
But, I do thank my lucky stars that I live in a country where the political leaders do not keep wanting to invade other countries at the drop of a hat just because they don't like the people who run them or because they could upset the oil supply. I thank many lucky stars that the legacy of Nelson Mandela <http://www.whoswhosa.co.za/Pages/profilefull.aspx?IndID=3961> has ensured that South Africa has friendly relations with far more countries than the USA, Britain or Australia can claim to have.

I thank my lucky stars that we have sports teams that can overcome political interference, appalling bad management and heaven knows how many other problems and still win World Cups.

I thank my lucky stars that I live in a country where people over the age of 60 can still make a meaningful contribution and earn a living without being put out to pasture just because of their age.

When I sit down and add up what's positive in this country and look at our track record for coming through crises, I battle to find any place on earth I would rather be.

I do not accept the political shenanigans that are going on right now. I don't accept the crime level, I do not accept the level of corruption in big business and I do not accept the pathetic management of our sports teams.

But, I love this country far too much to go and live somewhere else. And I for one will not be downcast by our present problems because I know we have overcome far, far worse in the past.

And in spite of a lot of whites feeling that things are falling apart, one has to admit that for the majority of the citizens of this country, with all its flaws and challenges right now, it is still a far, far better place than it was during apartheid.

being the man of the house...

What i miss about not having a man around the house....is to kill creepy crawlies... ok that's number two... i also miss having regular sex but hey...the creepy crawlies...they are right up there on my list...there is nothing in this world that freaks me out more than goggas... and since i've become the “man” in the house i have to do all of these things that i'm not really built to do...

when i moved the previous time i had a humongous spider that i had to kill...and doom just didn't do the trick...i was sure i saw the bugger taking his huge spidery legs and wiping the doom right off it's beady little eyes...the doom just did nada to this sucker...he just snickered at me and stood on his hind legs...swaying from side to side...ready to kill me in two seconds flat... i shit you not...so i took the broom and ended it right there...who's YOUR mommy now mf??!!!....

when i got divorced my best friend gave me excellent advice...she said... your kids...they must know that you can do ANYTHING...that nothing scares you, spiders, snakes (help me God i would faint if i ever got a snake in my house)...burglars (with these i would first pee in my panties and then faint)...but it's been good advice anyway...i have shown my beatsties that there is nothing i'm afraid of, nothing i show fear to in front of them anyway...




pooh bear (my hero) said in one of his movies and these are words i now live by...

...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think...

in the face of anything i will actually stand up and take the challenge... and my kids know this, and somehow they feel better knowing this and me, i feel better knowing this too...

it's getting easier now, kay's old enough to start taking over some of the spider killing duties, he took care of a dead bird we found under my bed left there by the hunter in the house, my cat billy...yikes...it's not that i'm afraid of the dead bird it's just plain disgusting... those hard spiky feet...no thanks... i couldn't touch the bird so my 12 year old son looked at me as if i was totally stupid...really mommy... took a plastic bag and took it out to the trash...I gave him a big fat hug and a motherly kiss right after i bathed him in dettol...

building tracks

please note: this post has not been spell checked... so grammer and spelling police... back off;-) ... the darn thing doesn't work, and needless to say the bloody paragraphs doesn't work well either today... other than that...enjoy!

have you ever heard something someone said or something you thought of and it just made perfect sense? ... aha...perfect sense in an instant... profound words that's written on your heart and left there for all eternity ~just for you...

sometimes these words or phrases or sentences doesn't mean anything or wouldn't mean anything to another person... cause at that precise moment the culmination of emotions, the surroundings, the look in someones eye, the mood around you and the words all together makes perfect sense at that exact moment... your moment...

it seems that i am in a strange place at the moment... someone told me years ago that capricorns are late bloomers... this is probably not true to every capricorn but i think it is earth shatteringly true about me... i have always felt that there are still things to come for me and from me... it is very difficult to explain but there it is... something happened to me that made perfect sense to me some four or five years ago...

i was going through the final limb jerking moments before my marriage finally died a horrible death... that's how my marriage ended... jerking and crunching and constricting in one ugly movement until it was dead and lifeless and useless...the eggshells that i was walking on had cut right to the bone...bleeding and festering.. and it left me lifeless and silent...in this time i was talking to my ever wise brother in law... he is much younger than me but such an example... he lives every second so thoroughly it leaves those around him breathless... so we were just chatting, he was asking ridiculous questions and i was giving him sarcastic answers... and all of a sudden he said something that i still remember to this day...he looked at me and said

“i could never go through what you are going through right now... i am too selfish..."

and these words would make no impact on you now would it... but in that instant i realized so many things... so here i am years later... with a heart that is not broken anymore... with children that can sleep through the night... with my eyes bright with life and not with tears... anticipating something unknown...

i heard something the other day that would probably explain that what i wish to say... apparently years ago they built a railway track over the alps... before there were any trains... because they knew that someday there would be trains that will need this particular track... and that is how i feel... i'm rebuilding my tracks...

eskom.... argh

i wanted to post something totally different today, have the post all typed up and ready to publish, but now my bloody spell checker doesn't work and of course the paragraphs are up to shit again, so i'll leave you with this for now and promise to post something worthwhile Monday. I hope you have a dangerously delicious weekend people... sleep when you're dead and remember above all...

no regrets ok?!

you only live once after all :-)

new blood

what's up with blog land... deserted... quiet... ?????

i quite enjoy reading new blogs... some are just average... and then there you get bloggers that impress ... naturals.... and one of them is local which makes me even prouder... so here are some new blood you HAVE to visit... remember you can't judge someone with one post, read some older posts or go back for a few days... please let me know who you recommend i should go check out... our blog world/community can get quite involved so it's always good to introduce new genes to the gene pool...

Obakeng... Obi ~love your stuff dude!

Greg... http://gregbecerra.blogspot.com/

you rock guys!

bring out the honey!

some of us have mastered the art of flirting...i do not claim to have these powers, and yet i would actually love to... more often than not i totally fumble ... but it's still fun... our world is too cynical, we need to lighten up a bit... if people could learn to flirt more with each other that would be quite something... and to me to flirt doesn't mean that you have romantic intentions with a person... it can be with a girl friend.... or your child...or your dad....doesn't matter....old and young.... flirtation i have found... makes me feel alive... that's what i'm after... and of course the shock in the eyes of someone when they're not expecting it... i totally love that.... it's a difficult concept to explain... i just think that if i smile at the cute guy in pick 'n pay who's walking around with his frumpy wife...i'm not trying to steal her husband away... maybe he feels totally unappreciated... or lost or something and there i am.... acknowledging him...that's all...that's what a wink or a smile or a pet name does to me... it acknowledges that i'm alive...know what i mean?... it acknowleges that i'm a woman, a girl a babe even though i'm a mom and a parent and an adult... and we need to flirt with our kids, with our siblings, flirtation prob has a more romantic connotation to it i realise that.... but for the lack of a better word or term i'm using it for my purposes today...

every single one of us enjoy that recognition~ that spark you allow to flow trough you into someone else... have you caught the eye of a child that feels left out...that absolute immediate smile you get in return... that excitement when a guy looks at you and winks...and you'll never see them again... am i the only one that get's a kick out of that?

monday facts

i'm grateful...

1. that i don't have a police record


2. that my kids are on a better medical aid than i'm on


3. that i've never had athlete's foot


4. that my belly button is an inny and not an outy


5. that i can bath twice a day


6. that i don't have hiv


7. that i don't bite my nails anymore


8. that i'm happy for the first time in many many years


9. that i don't like pizza that much anymore


10. that "the apprentice" is back


11. that i'm not married to steve hofmeyr

things i am NOT so grateful for..

1. i have a mummy tummy


2. that i can't afford to buy a place of my own


3. i can't go back to the library cause i own them lots of money


4. that every mozzie in south africa has a craving for my blood


5. that "the amazing race" seems to have left our screens forever


6. the fact that jacob zuma will probably be our next president

friday!

have a good weekend ya'll!

only in africa...

it's raining

it's pouring

the old man is snoring...

what's with all this rain... enough already!... we're supposed to have summer and sun and stuff but this is the coldest, wettest summer i've ever had to live through... and what scares me most is the fact that i'm actually enjoying all this rain... i think i should go buy myself a pair of those flipper stiletto's...

i see brian's circus is back in town... they come every year... and every day i drive past them and think... i really should take the kids to the circus... and then i never do... the circus people have two huge elephants, i've affectionately given them names, hubba and bubba... these two giants walks around with no supervision or anything to keep them close... they just roam around the area and that's that... so every afternoon as i drive home i see two elephants... only in africa right... gotta love that!

say what?

why would anyone want to steal my toilet brush??? i've been puzzled by the disappearance of this particular item for quite some time now... and i have now given up... it's gone... missing in toilet bowl action... strange innit??

the kids are innocent, they wouldn't touch that brush with a five foot pole... so, the only logical explanation is that the garden service guys must have eyed it walking past my bathroom window... i leave it on the windowsill sometimes... but why? i wouldn't steal someone else's toilet brush... that's just too gross ... there is always a huge bottle of bubble bath on the windowsill... the thief could really have taken that rather...or... he could have taken the bubble bath and the freakin brush... such a strange thing and for some reason i have trouble letting go of this... not that someone stole something... but the toilet brush??? that's so weird and creepy on a totally strange level...

btw: so sad about heath ledger... i just don't get suicide... hope you rest in peace man...

updates... and the stupid little man

ok so this load shedding eskom business is really taking it's toll... i get to work at 8... blog... read blogs... lots of blogs... and oops at 1 o'clock the power goes off and no real work was done... this has been going on for over a week now... i am a bad girl... and what's worse is it's not bothering me... now the fact that it's not bothering me is starting to bother me... hmmm... i need to do VAT, and a load of other shit...that i really just don't want to do... argh... i am useless... maybe i'll feel better tomorrow... the boss is after all on holiday this week.... the other thing that is contributing to this go-slow action of mine is that my sister in law phoned me yesterday about the new job... it's looking good...!!!

btw~ i watched kill bill vol 2 on sunday night... people how can you say it wasn't a good movie??? i loved it, i even liked it more than the first one... you sure you guys watched the same movie... such a cool movie! that eye popping scene... yikes...

i really pissed a guy off in traffic this morning... i'm a really passive driver most of the time... if you put your indicator on~ no worries! ~ a~n~y~b~o~d~y can move in then, but the big thing is~ if you don't use your indicator... move along bud, you're not getting this spot in front of me... no ways... i give way for trucks, for taxi's... no problem... cause they use their indicators... but this morning mr. coupe was driving his little wanna~be street-racing car like a maniac in the morning traffic, and it's raining! and he didn't use his blooming indicator... and then... he wanted to have the space in front of me... ok... granted... he was a bit too quick for me... i couldn't keep him out... but the fact is he was just rude... so i honked at him... just a mild honk-honk... to let him know that i was not impressed... then... he turned around and started cursing me and shouting... he even moved out of my lane into the next lane so he could shout at me better... stupid fool... and while he was going on like a mad nutter... all i did was... i stuck my tongue out at him... mwhhhhhhhhhhhaahahah... oh my word... he didn't like that one bit... luckily the robot turned green and we had to move on but he was still zapping me 3 blocks on... fart-face, learn some manners would you!

the things i say....oy

i was reading one of sheebee's posts the other day... and she referred to the Afrikaner clutch plates... no offense taken sheebs! LOL ... and that made me think back to one of my most embarrassing moments....ever...



ok so most you all know that i'm an Afrikaner boere meisie... english is not my first language but in south africa we have eleven official languages, afrikaans being one of them... so we all converse in english quite a lot, with friends and family, at work and so on... so...



i have found that if i want to converse deliciously in my second language that i should firstly think in english ... not so easy... but i manage, if i really struggle, i just switch mid sentence to afrikaans, and my english friends are gracious enough to accept this... anyway... my basic english is fine, just sometimes... the tenses just get so screwed up it's just horrible... beyond belief... ok that's just background...



a few years back i worked for two partners, both english dudes... i was taking a coffee break and the one guy happened to be in the kitchen with me... and of course we did the small talk thing... this guy is a biker and had quite a bad fall on his bike... injured his neck... and during our conversation in the kitchen i thought~ i should ask Dave how his neck is doing... and then it happened... i asked him...



"so Dave... how are your neck?"



mwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah........... nooooooooooooooooo.... what was i thinking... fuck that day the earth should have opened right there and then and swallowed me whole... that would have been such a blessing... well i have to give it to Dave, he was a perfect gentleman... he had a little smirk on his face and said... "fine thanks..." yeah right... he probably told that story a million times to friends around the fire... eish...

and the award goes to....

i've decided to give out two awards, just because...

so... the first award goes to.... kyk... it's a snarky award... because he is the master of...

snarky snark sarcastic bitchy sarcasm bitch dane cook haughty mean rude snarcastic bug buggy dane fake go ballistic go nuts hinky irritable rant snarkastic...

and the second award goes to.... lee ... it's an award for best spelling... we love you lee! LOL

so that's it...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

lizzy....

you know that lotto tv ad where the P.A. is called into the bosses office... and then sticks her tongue out at her boss....and then says: "lizzy do this...lizzy do that...lizzy lizzy lizzy lizzy lizzy!!!"...

i wanna be lizzy!
i am lizzy i swear...

not only because she won the lotto but because she could stick her tongue out at her boss... yeah i'm barely back and i'm hating the boss woman again... and i fear the end is near... wait did that rhyme... hehe.... she's turning me into a unhappy... moaning... irritable... pffftt... woman... and i'm hating every single second of it... i don't know what her problem is, but whatever it is, it's now my problem... and she's lovin' making my life miserable... today is a beautiful example... beautiful i use as a highly sarcastic inappropriate way... the load shedding in our area started at 1hoo... i sat there playing with paper clips for two hours... all my work was up to date... i've even finished all of my freakin' filing... nails and paper... i couldn't even make myself a cup of coffee... so i phone her and ask her if i can go home...

(please take note...S H E ... was busy... S H O P P I N G)

her reply: can't you go through all of our million files and alphabetize them...?

me: wtf??? excuse me????
are you yanking my chain woman??
isn't B just B... do i need to put mr. A.D. Botha now before Mr. P.S. Botha.... fuck me boss... i'm not doing that!!! you have to admit that is just S~T~U~P~I~D... ~!!!

arggggggggggghhhhhhhhh... i can take it no more... so what's my alternative you ask?

my sister in law is a landscape architect and she is starting a partnership/new company with an architect... and guess what... i'll do the drafting...... i've done my autocad training... i'm ready to rock and roll and leave the admin life once and for all... i just hope and pray this whole new company deal does actually materialise... cause i have to face it... sis in law has great ideas... but the follow through... hmmm... so on the one hand i'm hugely excited about this new career I'm maybe going to start.... hopefully... oh please God let it be... but i'm not getting too excited... many a slip between the cup and the lip / don't count your chickens before they hatch~type of effort... but still hugely exciting right??!!

so whatever happens i'm still stuck with dragon~lady for another 4 months.... luckily she's going on holiday next week... otherwise i would not have been responsible for my actions...

and... action!!!

i thought i was caught in the middle of a movie scene today... but it turned out to be a live cops and robbers moment that i had the privilege of witnessing... and let me just tell you i actually applauded the police while driving... this confused the kids but i was totally impressed... they were so awesome... so here's what happened...

after hours waiting at the eye specialists office and after millions of eye tests for the kids (thank God it's not Glaucoma after all)... i picked up some mc donalds from ronald on the way home... so there i was... yes with a divine french fry in my mouth... no good for ass i know!!... squeezing a tiny container between me thighs with the tomato sauce in it... you know i have to dunk the french fry before i can eat it... dah... so i was driving along like a law abiding citizen... and RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... there is this black bmw... suddenly pulls out the blue light... pops it on the roof... and i'm like...

kids!!!!!!! lookit!!!!!!!! lookit!!!!!!!!

next thing the bmw's reverse lights starts flickering... and the siren goes off and they bmw blocks this other car right here in front of me... 3.5 seconds later this will smith look~alike cop jumps out of the bmw and pulls like 10 crooks out of the other car... he had a pistol in his hand...RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME... i was scared i have to admit...didn't want to be hit by a stray bullet y'know... so i drove away like crazy... SO exciting... i'm even writing in capital letters and that never happens... so bloody exciting minute i had there today... go SAPS go! ...and thanks... oh yeah oh yeah!

disaster management...

i find myself quite unsatisfied with myself at the moment.. after the holiday i'm ignoring my mirror... i'm actually contemplating throwing a piece of material over it... like some cultures do when someone dies ~ that's how i feel... my sweet ass is on the verge of dying a gruesome dimply over sized death.... urghhhhhh... apparently (however someone is probably lying about this)... i have a fast metabolism, yipiee kayee mf's... that piece of info has brought me no salvation whatsoever... so extreme measures will have to be taken... diets don't work for me... either i have no discipline or i'm just following the wrong diet... so my plan of action will be between the following...

i need to fall in love or have my heart broken... those two always works like a charm... i lose all and utter need to eat when i'm in love... i have a tummy full of butterflies that feeds me drops of love juice 24~7... the other option... a broken heart... this option is suffice to say not so nice... but effective non the less... with both my divorces i was so utterly shattered i literally didn't eat for 3 months... i shit you not... did wonders for my bod but my health... sheesh... not such a good idea...

i just don't understand why woman were created so different... thin girls just live on lettuce with the odd lettuce eating worm to provide a little protein... and who wants to live like that i ask you!!!... i only know one skinny girl... the others are all normal people.. .the skinny one.. she's anorexic... so i rest my case... i probably need to up my exercise... but with the heat and the gym's inability to turn their air con on – i'm slightly fucked... so basically i need to fall in love... a tall order i know... few men have the power to do that to me... unfortunately!!! that is... only 4 men i've known had it – so statistically i'll have to wait another 3 years... which is just bloomin great... sigh

enjoy every moment...

BREATHE. Scream. Crawl. Walk. Talk. Potty train. Go to school. Learn your ABC's. Play cops. Play robbers. Graduate. Go to high school. Notice girls. Fall in love. Get your heart broken. Listen to goth music. Be a rebel. Sneak out. Skip class. Get caught. Get grounded. Study. Matriculate. Party. Get hung over. Get breakfast. Buy a car. Enrol in university. Party some more. Break someone else's heart. Flunk. Tell your parents. Flip burgers. Finish your studies. Promise to change the world. Get a degree. Get a job. Climb the ladder. Buy a flat. Go to gym. Have cocktail parties. Buy furniture. Meet the one. Share dessert. Get married. Sell the flat. Buy a house. Have children. Change nappies. Go out with the boys. Sleep on the couch. Buy a station wagon. Drive to ballet practice. Miss your son's rugby game. Get him a milkshake. Buy life insurance. Go through a midlife crisis. Buy a sports car. Quit your job. Start your own business. Make money. Spend it on your daughter's wedding. Spoil your grandchildren. Retire. Buy a house at the coast. Play bingo. Walk the dog. Go on a cruise. Come home. Sit down. Have coffee. Look back. Realise you've loved every moment...

Isn't that just perfect...!!!

i didn't right this ok... courtesy of a wimpy ... quite original i think!

haiku revised...

i was introduced to haiku a while ago... and it captivated me immediately... here is a brief description of what haiku is...


Haiku is a poetic form and a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language in a meaningful, yet compact form. Haiku poets, which you will soon be, write about everyday things. Many themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually they use simple words and grammar. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables.

Haiku doesn't rhyme.

A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in ONLY 17 syllables over just three (3) lines of poetry!


ok so i didn't follow the exact recipe... although that is quite a challenge and i enjoy it tremendously... the style i will follow (after a glass of red wine) opens with a hokku, which later developed into haiku a kind of a collaborative format... although i may be wrong... try it yourself why don't you... i have written very erotic haiku's and some beautiful everyday things ... this is sort of border line~

here goes ...

5 your eyes saw mine first
7 your smile reached out for my smile
5 our fingers touching

7 discovering each other
7 this one day we have for now

5 far away yet near
7 unsure if i want to know
5 not sure of your heart

7 i feel your skin and know you
7 i feel your heart beat fast, loud

5 slowly i touch you
7 your lips on mine for a while
5 probing what is mine

7 offering myself to you
7 i take you without asking

5 surrender to you
7 i give myself to you now
5 my mind forgotten

7 that moment, that instant there
7 gasping to make sense of us

5 you made me smile yes
7 a perfect moment in time
5 mine forever now

second post for today...

read this just now on nick's blog and thought it should be spread far and wide...

January 11, 2008 will mark six years since the first 20 prisoners arrived at Guantánamo Bay Cuba. Since then, 775 prisoners have passed through the gates and no trials have been completed. As a symbol of freedom and democracy throughout the world, the United States must hold itself to our own high standards. When we resort to the use of torture, abuse, and indefinite detention we lower ourselves to the level of our enemies and defy the basic values that we hold dear. Guantánamo Bay has tarnished the reputation of the United States and makes a mockery of our core values. Six years on, it is time to call once and for all for the United States to CLOSE GUANTÁNAMO! Stand with us on January 11th and let’s prove that those who would advocate for a lower standard are on the wrong side of the law... the wrong side of core American values... and the wrong side of history. Join me in signing the petition to Close Guantánamo and stand strong in support of justice.

hey hey it's friday...

thank God it's friday... i need to catch up on some sleep this weekend ... working can be quite tiring... yawn... every morning, ok since wednesday i had to get up at 6h30 ... crazy... not a morning person... i can't keep my eyes open or my mouth closed... horrible stuff i tell you

somebody did the rain dance... haven't stopped raining in roughly 3 days... i'm getting used to it and hope it holds till the weekend... nothing like being in bed while it's raining...

as you can see i have nothing much to say today so i'll leave you with this quote to hopefully inspire y'all lazy asses....(i know it's arses i just like using the donkey version ;-)

"Our plans miscarry if they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbour he is making for, no wind is the right wind."

~ Seneca

i'm a big boy...

i tucked the kids into bed just now... they're sleeping in my bed tonight... jay snuggled up to me and whispered into my ear... i'm a big boy now... i'm in third grade... smiling mischievously... it was so sweet... and it's so true... he's a big boy now... so is kay... i don't even want to talk about kay... i saw him naked yesterday, the first time in quite a while and lemme just say... he is a big boy now... if i was his pappy i would have said... "that's my boy!"... but i'm his mommy and my boys are growing up too quick... i treasure every time stuff happens like tonight... cause i'm on the verge of having those memories as only that... memories... i'm not depressed... i'm silently rejoicing that my boys are growing up... and silently heartbroken that these precious growing up years are going too fast... still, i'm so proud to call them my sons... my mom laughs at me when i tell her i still after all these years can't believe that they're mine... so this is proud mommy... relieved that the first day of school was a huge success... signing off ... nostalgic... remembering the little boys who hid behind my skirt... they are no more... they're big boys now...

wrapping up my holiday

boo hoo...sniff sniff... it's all done...it's all done... a whole month and two days... gone! all gone... oh well such is life right... i might be crazy... but i can't wait to go back to work....gasp... i know... disgusting... pathetic... can't believe it myself... but it shows that i've rested up and am ready for another year with the boss lady... i even miss her and her foul mouth... i'm back into P.A. mode... bought myself a funky diary... organised my life... kids are all set for school tomorrow... back to school and all that... i love this time of year... full of new challenges... oh my i've become that sunflowery person again...

this will be the last year that i stay home for the whole holiday... even crashing at family is better than this... don't get me wrong... had a good time... but holiday is just not holiday if you don't go somewhere... i need to see the sun set in the wrong place... i'm totally disorientated when i'm at a strange place... obvious right...the sun doesn't come up in the east when i'm away... and it sets in the wrong place too...

btw... i'm sitting here sipping oros... and dragging on a cigarette... how screwed up is that... i don't know what happened to me... my precious gin is in the cupboard... and i have no desire for booze... hmmm.... strange but embracing my oros in any case...

i did a whole lot of domestic shit this holiday... worked in the garden... broken nail to prove it... re-arranged my furniture... limited space so that was quite a challenge... sorted out the kids room... huge job... did all my washing... something that i never do... did some ironing... yeah i know... amazing.... cleaned the fish tank... cleaned the freezer... the closest thing we get to snow here in south africa... what else did i do... no that's about it... hugely domestic... hurl... i am after all not the domestic type...

the biggest reason i'm missing work is .... drum roll... my internet connection... fast... fast .... fast... can't wait!!! so i'll be all over you suckers tomorrow...!

note: i'm not even pissed at blogger anymore... see still no paragraphs...*skipping around in my pj's*

movie magic

it seems that everyone i know has already seen all the truly outstanding movies ever made... i have only recently seen the following movies, which i can truly say is absolutely brilliant...


fight club
lucky number sleven
face/off
twelve monkeys
identity


all of these dvd's for my viewing pleasure...courtesy of angel... thanks doll... loooooooved them!


i know i know, it seems i missed quite a few... tonight i saw another amazing movie... kill bill... volume 1... i will be in hot pursuit of volume 2 tomorrow... in all my life i have never seen so much squirting blood and severed limbs in one movie... and usually i don't even watch movies that violent...but the story line is as i like it... twisted....


my favourite line from the movie....after a particular bloody scene...

those of you lucky enough to still have your lives... take them with you... however leave the limbs you've lost... they belong to me now...

fuck~ do yourself the favour if you haven't seen it yet...or maybe i'm preaching to the converted...

family...oy~!

our extended family had lunch together today... at any given time there are roughly about five cousins running around in a pack... they're not a gang cause there is a definite order of seniority... and they act like a bunch of dogs most of the time...anyway that's besides the point... the pack came rushing past the dining room table to go for a swim in the pool and jay was the leader due to the fact that kay is away visiting a friend... so there my son was in his funky boxer shorts... a black shirt with huge dragons printed all over it.... and the shirt was unbuttoned all the way down... flapping in the breeze.... he was also wearing some surfer beads around his neck... so to say the least~ he looked extraordinarily strange ... my sister was watching him and said.... he looks like a drug lord on holiday.... whahahahahah... i haven't laughed that hard in i don't know how long.... ok maybe you had to be there to get it but believe me.... funny stuff right there....

my brother in law is in hospital.... a government hospital!!... because up to this point in his life.... even after surviving cancer in a government hospital... he still thinks that a medical aid is a waste of money... fuck i can slap him sometimes... anyway this weekend he had a bit of a problem.... he accidentally.... long story.... almost burned out his car... he runs his business from home... so there were about six other cars parked in his driveway... and if the one car caught fire well... see where i'm going with this.... so he needed a fire extinguisher.... and he needed one fast... so he ran to the house to get one... the front door was locked.... what does he do... what does he do??????????? ... he smashed the front glass door.... with his fist.... oy.... he didn't think! that's what he did... he cut his arm so bad you have no idea... he severed a blood vessel or something.... some nerves.... serious stuff... and now 24 hours later he's only being operated on... if he had a medical aid and gone to a proper hospital he would have been home already!... when my sister asked the surgeon when her husband's turn would be, he said... he'll have to wait his turn... if the doesn't operate on the others first... they'll die...jeepers... so if there's no one on the brink of checking out... that's when you get a turn....so when i start work on wednesday... guess what will be the first thing i do... organising them a medical aid.... i'm just glad he's going to be ok... good thing he didn't use his head right?

1 2 3 go fuck yourself

(i might regret posting this... it's 4 am and probably not thinking straight... maybe i'll take this off when i wake up... maybe not...this is just how i feel at the moment....i'll prob read this tomorrow and think WTF??)

1 2 3 go fuck yourself!

that's pretty much how i feel sometimes, and obviously how i feel at the moment, various stuff have pissed me off recently... and i don't piss off very easily... i'm a very easy going person with a high tolerance for the imperfections of human nature... i'm patient and i'm loyal... but fuck me over enough times and this sweet natured person can turn quite dramatically... but that takes years to build up... why do we do this, we "forgive" so many things, never sort them properly and here i am 4 o'clock in the morning unable to sleep once again... and this issue's nagging me without cease....

people tend to walk all over me because i'm nice... not patting myself on the back here ok fuckers... see that's not me... why did i just type that... no worse... why didn't i delete it... back to my point... it seems that people, ok not all people but i've come across some... they disregard the basic laws of friendship and just take what they want and leave... i'm not making sense am i.... so i have this other highly irritating characteristic... i'm stubborn... and in isolated cases, like this one... i take it a bit too far... unable to stop myself... and at the same time i so want to get this problem out of my life... i like to deal with stuff immediately, no i lie, they should have been sorted yesterday... but this "thing" has been dragging it's ass around my life for a bit too long now... and i've tried... up to a point... by rolling over... which i hate... but i know this about myself... i don't like to roll over if you're not willing to roll over for me... and face it sometimes we just have to roll over ... but very very rarely... that's maybe selfish but it's a give and take situation and i'm not giving anymore if you're not giving anymore asshole... sorry i'm not kakking any of you out... promise... so basically i'm extremely pissed off at the moment and there seems to be only two options available to resolve this issue... roll over ... or give that person the 1 2 3 go fuck yourself routine...

why am i doing this to myself?... enough already... but somehow i'm holding back cause this relationship is hugely important to me but on the other hand obviously not so important to the other person... and what worries me is that this utterly ridiculous thing can actually break this friendship... something i didn't see coming at all... i'm not good at waiting things out... this is not doing me any good... i have to cut down on the cigarettes after all...

note: blogger you can go fuck yourselves too cause no paragraphs again...sheesh

4th of january 2006

that was my divorce date... so i guess today is my new anniversary date... how strange... ;-)

besides the heart ache my divorce has caused my kids, looking back... it was without a doubt the best thing i could have done... !

i've changed in many many ways the last 2 years... but it's difficult to pin point each one of them... basically i've become happy again... and that to me... is all i want for my kids and for myself ... not heaps of money, not a palace to live in... but to know that we're ok, we're loved and that's why i have a ...

big satisfied happy smile on my face today!!

sleep clinic

yawn... i'm starting my own sleep clinic ~for myself~ for the next week... my internal clock is seriously whacked... and it's my own fault... due to the fact that i've had the last month off i've...

slept when i wanted to for how long or short i've wanted to...

so basically i never went to bed earlier than maybe 3 am or later every night... and then i sleep in till maybe 11 am... and have a nap in the afternoon...

i start work again in a week's time... my boss will probably frown upon the idea i have to take a afternoon nap... so as of tonight i will go to bed no later than 12, like a good girl should... and not sleep later than 8... and not take an afternoon nap longer than an hour... yawn... i feel hungover this morning.... more like sleep deprived...i couldn't sleep again last night... went to bed at about 1 and by 2 i was up again... this morning i have a breakfast date and i just wanna sleep.... i want my bed and my blanky~pout... *stomp foot*...!

ps: this no paragraph blogger shit is really starting to piss me off...i like paragraphs... what can i say

100... standing ovation required!

how did this happen?? this is my 100th post...fuck...time flies when you're having fun!! according to louisa you're supposed to do this buck naked...so here goes...

i even have the bottle of honey handy...

but dripping honey all over myself ALONE is no fun... so i'll chuck that idea for the moment!

i can't believe i've had almost a month's leave... i haven't slept so much in my life... haven't read much like i wanted to...but i've had fun...rested like i was supposed to... holiday's almost over! i'm was supposed to start working on monday and my boss phoned me yesterday to tell me that she's not in the mood to work yet, so we'll only start on the 9th...!!

i went stationary shopping with the kids today, they start their new school year next week wednesday, so ... more than a R1000 spent on shit.... lovely... but at least they'll have sharp pencils and cool backpacks to show for it...other than that i had a cup of tea with my parents today, it's their 48th wedding anniversary ...and they still love each other... thank goodness... my mom deserves a medal i swear... but my dad's cool... just a typical male... so good for them!! i will definitely without a doubt never celebrate a 48th wedding anniversary... that ship has sailed and was lost in the bermuda triangle...

my sister is hot on my trail...blog trail that is... i've told her about my blog and she turned green, yellow, purple, red...and a then green again....i've made her promise to not go look for me... that took much persuasion... i blog anonymously so as much as she's tried~ she hasn't been able to find me.... LOL... thank God...

so that's my boring news for today... normal every day stuff that makes my little world go round and round and round.... check you later squirts!

year new happy!!!

in the last 24 hours i've heard "happy new year" so many times that i just had to change it... so it's not happy new year anymore but.... year new happy!

enough already...

i think it's the obscene amount of corny sms's (texts) i've received wishing me all the most mundane things imaginable...ok now i'm just rude... but couldn't' just ONE person send me the following new years wish...

sweetass... i only have one wish for you babe....

i hope you get laid many many many many times this year...

see... that's all i want!!

year new happy everybody!!

bitter sweet birthday....

today is my birthday... it was a lovely day... last night i celebrated with angel, glug and some friends... it was exceptionally jolly i have to say... we toasted each and every one of you shits that couldn't be there!... angel wore the most beautiful angel wings you can imagine... she looked beautiful... a cross between a naughty angel and a sweet ballerina type of effort!!!.... and glug... you rock boet!!!...oh i just have to say that they make a stunning couple...!!!!

today i was surrounded by my family, the ones nearest and dearest to me... my parents, my brother, my sister, their spouses and a bunch of offspring produced by us all.... two of those of course my two boys...my mom took them shopping to get me a present...she left it totally up to them...and they bought me the two most hideous horse statues that i will treasure forever and always... they were so proud and i was so grateful... they love me... what bigger gift can i ever ask for?

i received many calls from friends and family... but birthdays always has a bitter sweet melancholy attached to it, why i have never figured out... so i will be glad that this day has been spent and gone... don't get me wrong it really was a great day... maybe it's the thought that one more year has been dropped into the ocean of life...never to be seen again, i really don't know... but there it is, i'm now at the wrong side of thirty...fuck...

one thing that has been particularly bitter sweet for me today has been the fact that my very best friend in the whole wide world has again forgotten my birthday... ouch... she's like that...but still... it's no fun for me to remind her of my birthday every year... and then still forgets to pick up the fucking phone....and i decided not remind her today... we spoke two days ago on the phone... she promised to come to my birthday party... and she never pitched... why the fuck not? ...double ouch.... she didn't even bother to let me know that she couldn't come... i would have understood...it's just a party after all... instead of being angry i'm just sad... she knew i wanted her there... to be told tomorrow that she forgot would just be a slap in my face... so dear best friend of mine, why do you do this to me... i waited the whole day for you to phone... and you just...didn't...i disappoint so very easily you see...

this time of year...

firstly...thanks greg for my header... you sure are sweet, thank you!!

secondly, please don't think that i don't bother putting spaces between my paragraphs... i do... and then blogger decides in it's infinite wisdom to take them away... so it looks like a long post without any breaks... i've tried everything but nothing work.... all of you will prob only read this post next year... i wasn't going to post until next year but then i couldn't help myself...what's new right?

in two days it will be christmas... can't wait... i love everything about christmas, the kids squealing when they get their presents... family together... it doesn't get any better for me than that... i just hope the kids like what santa got them... santa sure spent all "his" money on them so i'll cross my toes and hope for the best... so after christmas it's my birthday on the 29th... looking forward to much pampering... and then it's the new year... i have a good feeling about the new year... it sure can only get better from here on!

everybody usually gets all hyped up this time of year, new year's resolutions that's inevitably broken or conveniently forgotten... i make a point of never making any new years resolutions... they're like rules...and you know all about rules right...

they're meant to be broken...

so i've changed the rules... i reflect...not on the past year but on me... things that i know that's important but that i conveniently neglect because well they take more effort... so each new year i try a little harder at certain things... discipline really... cause discipline is quite a difficult thing for me... it's not that i'm lazy... maybe a little i won't lie... but certain things just comes easier to me than certain other things... like friendship or being a mom...those things come naturally to me, i don't have to think or try to do them, i want to do them.... but other things...oer, that's a whole different kettle of fish right there...and i don't like fish much....

so my first thing i need to discipline myself with is smoking... i'm not going to quit smoking, i've made peace with that, who knows maybe one day i'll surprise myself...but for now i need to discipline myself to just smoke less... see much less daunting... and i'm actually going to do it... like three years back i started running... something i never thought i would be able to do....and who knew, i love running... it started with walking around the block... and 3 months later i was up every morning at 5 clocking 4 km's with a smile on my face.... planning to finish my first half marathon soon... but then life got in the way... i moved, circumstances changed, i couldn't run on the road like i love, i have to go to the gym to my beloved treadmill now to run...and i'm limited to 20 minutes every day... but it's all i have now so i'll make the most of it...this year i plan to discipline myself to run a 5km fun run...and if i do that i'll do another one.... see much better than to decide to do a marathon and never even attempting it cause it's just too big....

another thing i'm going to do this year is to have more fun... this may sound silly to you but... blah blah blah it's a long story... i need to nurture my inner child more... shrinks orders... out of all the time i spent with her, for the short while i did, that's the one thing that stuck... doesn't that sound good... teehee...so my inner child wants to go horse riding more often, she wants to do drumming this year...angel i'll hold you to that one doll!...

small things that you people probably do every single day of your life...but for me it doesn't come so easily... the adult and parent in me takes over most of the time... just to survive...i am a full time mommy with a plate overflowing with responsibilities... and i tend to work too hard at keeping that plate manageable...and i will still do that... but i plan to enjoy more of my off time... i've found myself again since my divorce... i've found that i'm a fun person... who likes herself... who likes the world that i live in... that have so many things to be grateful for it's overwhelming... so if i could give myself a big slobbery excited puppy kiss i would...ha...it does feel good...

another discipline for me this year will be to save money... i want to take a decent december holiday vacation, just me and the boys... and i know i can save enough to do that... i must just roll in the discipline some... and hide my credit card, which i already have, i've even asked the bank to take off the link from my current account... it's so stupid i know... but thus is the way this old noggin thinks...

also there is one last thing i intend to pursue this year.... i know a lot of you are atheists or agnostic...but i'm not... i am a spiritual person... and i miss something... can't quite put my finger on it... but i know where to find it... and i need to expose my babies to the things that i hold dear to my heart... hey dudes i've long past the stage where i'm worried what people may think of my beliefs... if you're not true to yourself, you're not true to anybody... so i'm going to be a whole lot more true to myself f this year... and that makes me smile... ahoy maties...good times ahead...!!

note: see all my paragraphs...gone...fuck

news flash!!!!!!!!!!

i'm on holiday...and i actually...hold on to your seat.... will be taking a break (for the rest of december) with my blogging... i may still read some of your stuff...although i can't promise... i need to do some normal person stuff... like reading... yeah actual books... among other things...so i'll be back bright eyed and bushy tailed...in the new year ... so i'll check you then ok?

NEWSFLASH!!!!!!!

angel and i will be having our birthday party together, her birthday is the 28th and mine the 29th...we'll be having ourselves a teeny weeny little party....on the 28th at firkin in centurion...if any of you have enough guts to come on over for the night...it'll be such a jol!!!... but if you are paranoid beyond belief...well what can i say...

any questions please email me... fanfuckingtastic then!

have a good christmas, i'm going to...!!!!!

letter to 13 year old self...

hey sweet pea!

i'm...you are...almost 36 now, yes isn't that just fucking awful, but believe me 36 is not ancient, it goes so quick you won't believe...so here are some pointers i thought you should pay attention to....

oh my word girl...have you never heard of tweezers... and that hairstyle... mwhahahahahahahha.... seriously make a plan ...your older self has a very short hairstyle... it suits you...don't hesitate cutting your hair...you won't look like a golly wog i promise!!!

so besides the eyebrows and the horrendous hair-do you are such a sweet innocent little thing it's actually frightening...we should have called guiness book of records cause you had to hold some kind of record for being the most naive girl ever... don't trust everybody, people lie just because they can...yes they do... it's not nice and it doesn't mean you lie too so stop hyperventilating! ...but hey.... unfortunately you don't get to make all of the rules... shocker that one i know... close your mouth, get over it and move on....

life is not so evil and frightening as you feared... getting puke drunk actually is as awful as you imagined and yes you did get puke drunk a few times in your life... remember that day when you were horribly shocked when your friend offered you a cigarette and you said: i will never smoke! well, never say never...

first humongous mistake of your life: you will meet the sexiest piece of man in about three years...run for dear life...he will turn out to be the guy you fall horribly in love with... you will stay loyal to this asshole for a total of 18 years... he will break your heart into ten million pieces... and you'll never quite be the same again... falling for him is really a huge mistake... but on the other hand he gave you two beautiful boys...yes darling you'll have two boys..!!!!! they are wonderful and funny and the greatest things that's ever happened to you... maybe hang around to get your babies... but guard your heart, all the stuff he tells you are lies, don't believe him ok...you know it's all a heap of shit...don't believe him...as soon as you pop number two...run baby run...

second most humongous mistake of your life:...you should have listened to your daddy and gone to university...really that was a stupid ass thing to do...just go for heavens sakes...i'll forgive you your bad taste in men if you do this one thing for me...

another thing...don't fret too much about your daddy... he actually loves you dearly and will prove this fact so many times later on in life that you will not believe it when it happens... he's busy...don't take this so personally....he'll make up for it, i promise...

you have wonderful friends and a family sent straight out of heaven...cherish and love them... you won't get through life without them, that i promise you... try to work on your relationships with your two brothers...you sorta loose them along the way, it's a sad thing to loose a brother, and to loose two...you didn't do anything wrong there...they just moved on and forgot that they have a family, shit happens...but if you can do anything to prevent this, do something... you'll miss them always!

take more chances, laugh with your mouth wide open, get into trouble ...and don't worry about what anybody thinks about you...their opinions can't be trusted anyway... follow your gut and you'll be fine... you are stronger than you think, trust me on that...

oh yes, last thing, when you're about 33 you'll meet a guy that will kiss you and your legs will literally buckle...that should be the sign.... DO NOT LET HIM OUT OF YOUR OFFICE... you will regret that forever.... you need to shag that man right there and then... you hyperventilating again??....relax...sex is goooooooooood!!!

no regrets ok!

cool bananas babe... rock your world!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simply Curious tagged me and i'm supposed to TAG some other unsuspecting souls...

Lee (nosjunkie)!!!!

Angel (only if you wanna!)

and anyone else who feels the urge, i would have written this even if nobody tagged me!

counting sheep...or rowing sheep...i dunno

it is now 59 minutes past midnight...why would i write a post at this hour you may ask...well i overdid the gym this morning just a tad...all i did after my usual run was 5 minutes...5 fucking minutes people...of rowing... i've tried to figure out why this would make such an impact on my muscles...those muscles would be the ones at the back of my legs... i really don't know what they're called and quite honestly i don't give a rat's ass at this point...all i know it hurts like hell... it looks like i have a broomstick stuck up my ass...and i've come to the conclusion that on some level that may somehow even be more comfortable than what i'm going through... i can't sit...i can't stand... i can't lie down... the only pain relief is lying in a hot tub...but that i can't do all day now can i.... sheesh.... everybody thinks i'm a big baby, exaggerating, but i shit you not... this is taking pain to a whole new level...i know... who knew 5...yes five measly minutes of hard rowing could cause this... and to those who wondered...i'm sure gonna row again... great work out... taking cardio to a whole new level...that is if i can ever bend my legs again...so i'm in pain... i can't sleep... i can't do anything... do you know how many of your leg muscles you use to sit and get up from a toilet...dear Lord i almost didn't get up... i had to pull myself up after a pep-talk yelping...eina...eina...eina... and then hopping away pathetically with my stick legs... so laugh if you want to.... it's real silly i know... i just wish i could fall asleep...come to think of it this chair is quite comfortable... maybe i should just sleep in this chair...and sing myself to sleep... row row row your boat...

rice crispy love ...

oh my greatness...my first day on holiday was just fucking awful.... first i went to the gym and totally overdid it....when i got to the car...and i lifted my left leg to swing it into the car...i only lifted it about 10 centimetres off the ground....it so i basically fell into the car....my legs truly numb!....after that i went to renew my driver's licence...where are the days that you got your licence when you're 18 and just never go back to that awful place??...five years goes way too quick for my taste....stood in a cue for 3 hours...i kid you not...had my eyes tested...i passed with flying colours...and off i went...one day miserably wasted...ha...the pace that place works at is quite ridiculous...there are hundreds of people and nothing happens quickly...my back started aching...my legs started aching...i didn't remember to bring my smokes...oh man it was just one hectic disaster....

i was telling kay about chemistry the other day...you know the kind that you get when you're totally into someone... and he didn't get it...had no idea what his freakish mother was on about....and today we had the perfect learning moment in the cue in front of us...there was this sweet nineteen year old girl in front of us, by the end of the day i knew her whole life story...she knew mine and we promised to stay in touch...you know that type of effort...anyway... her boyfriend arrived about half way through our ordeal for a quick hello...and it was just like...

snap...

crackle...

pop...!!!!

fireworks between the two of them...young love!

me and the boys were standing like right there behind them ... so right there my son got his first lesson in chemistry... we witnessed that gut~wrenching~excitement~bubbling~over~right~there in front of us...

it was beautiful..! there's nothing that can compare to that don't you think...i am such a useless romantic it's just pathetic...anyway on the way home i asked kay... you just witnessed the magic of chemistry dude...did you check that???... he got this smile on his face and said...i sure did mom... that was way cool!