good news and bad news

(note: if there are huge spaces between my paragraphs... i give up... it's spaced normally but blogger seems to think the huge spaces between the paragraphs looks funky, so have mercy)

i hate it when someone asks me that... you wanna hear the good news of the bad news? cause 9 times out of 10 the good news is never good enough to make up for the bad news now is it?... anyway my good news is pretty good and my bad news isn't all that bad so.......

i got a pay raise... oh yeah... not huge but makes quite a difference...



BUT...

i had to ask for it, felt more like begging... that sucked, i felt horrible, and then my boss said "no sorry i don't think you are getting a raise this year" and i'm like... wmahahahaha... shit you're serious??!! and then i just told her straight... dear boss... that does not suit me... hell woman i'm a single parent, i don't live a luxurious life... i just get by... life get's more expensive every year... gimme a break! ... then she gave in... kinda pissed me off... but i got what i wanted... bitter sweet somehow.

bad news: a horrible spider bit me... 5 fucking times! the thought of a spider taking a leisurely stroll all over my body is just about enough to freak me out... i imagine it walking over my eyes and my mouth and yikes that's just too much... and it hurts and itches like hell... went to the pharmacy... pulled down my pants and pulled up my shirt... oh yes... i had to... he was amazed and the precision of the little bugger... four bites on my tailbone... precisely underneath each other... and a random bite on my back, that one is really itchy.... argh... this happened last week thursday and it still itches!!!!!! i'm like a little old woman, walking around with a tube of cream when the itching get's too much... i smell slightly antiseptic today...

being the man of the house...

What i miss about not having a man around the house....is to kill creepy crawlies... ok that's number two... i also miss having regular sex but hey...the creepy crawlies...they are right up there on my list...there is nothing in this world that freaks me out more than goggas... and since i've become the “man” in the house i have to do all of these things that i'm not really built to do...

when i moved the previous time i had a humongous spider that i had to kill...and doom just didn't do the trick...i was sure i saw the bugger taking his huge spidery legs and wiping the doom right off it's beady little eyes...the doom just did nada to this sucker...he just snickered at me and stood on his hind legs...swaying from side to side...ready to kill me in two seconds flat... i shit you not...so i took the broom and ended it right there...who's YOUR mommy now mf??!!!....

when i got divorced my best friend gave me excellent advice...she said... your kids...they must know that you can do ANYTHING...that nothing scares you, spiders, snakes (help me God i would faint if i ever got a snake in my house)...burglars (with these i would first pee in my panties and then faint)...but it's been good advice anyway...i have shown my beatsties that there is nothing i'm afraid of, nothing i show fear to in front of them anyway...




pooh bear (my hero) said in one of his movies and these are words i now live by...

...you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think...

in the face of anything i will actually stand up and take the challenge... and my kids know this, and somehow they feel better knowing this and me, i feel better knowing this too...

it's getting easier now, kay's old enough to start taking over some of the spider killing duties, he took care of a dead bird we found under my bed left there by the hunter in the house, my cat billy...yikes...it's not that i'm afraid of the dead bird it's just plain disgusting... those hard spiky feet...no thanks... i couldn't touch the bird so my 12 year old son looked at me as if i was totally stupid...really mommy... took a plastic bag and took it out to the trash...I gave him a big fat hug and a motherly kiss right after i bathed him in dettol...